Is he a player? Give me suggestions to work around my lack of confidence, please, so that I'm not a target.
I am not this poster
, but I am not attractive. I'm overweight. I am about 160cm tall, and 90 kilos (5'3", 200 pounds). I have a very turned eye (no further treatment possible) which really disconcerts people. I have some unusual moles on my face (and some scars). My breasts are very large and very saggy. I have an overhanging belly that completely fills my hands.
He is 6'4", fit, and conventionally attractive, educated and in an interesting job, and we met on OKCupid. We haven't met in person yet. His profile does indicate that he likes curves on a woman but I'm pretty sure I exceed requirements. The fat on my thighs wrinkles and sags.
We are enjoying bantering via email and intellectually, sure, I'm his equal and a good match. I'm adventurous, inventive, responsive, funny & appreciative of humour. I'm incredibly smart, I'm compassionate, a good listener. I'm successful in my own business. I have luscious lips and hair and very sexy nipples.
But! There's such an imbalance in the relative attractiveness of each other. And it seems to me that on average, attractive guys are most likely to prefer attractive women. (see WaPo).
Since I've been dating again, my experiences have fallen into one of two camps - one night stands (which I didn't know were one night stands when they started), and great wonderful sweet male friends, who are not interested in sex with me but love spending time with me (which is great, but also a little disheartening to put it mildly).
I don't like feeling used. I really don't like one night stands. I'm not after a boyfriend / girlfriend relationship, but I'd like to feel respected as a human being.
What do you do? Or more importantly, what do I do?
How do you approach a potential relationship with attractiveness imbalance without leaving yourself open to being used and discarded?
(Yes, I'm in the process of losing weight, yes, I wear clothes that enhance my good features, yes, when I get to goal weight and maintain it, I will get the girls lifted and put back where they belong - but this is a long term plan).
Throwaway email: firstname.lastname@example.org