May 19, 2012 6:35 AM Subscribe
Advice and guidance for someone grappling with sexual and emotional orientation? Specific case inside. trigger warning
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (10 answers total)
So...yeah. I've been wondering about this for a really long time, going on 20 years now. I can't really seem to figure it out. Here's my....internal matrix:
1. Sexually and emotionally attracted to women. The sexual part is 100% female.
2. Not sexually attracted to men.
3. Emotionally attracted to men, and desirous of male attention in a flirty but platonic fashion.
4. Gender identity is definitely male. I feel like a male. But I exhibit qualities considered 'effeminate' in really specific, non-obvious ways.
5. Survivor of sexual assault from another male, in childhood.
I've always sort of just gone with the theory that I was born male and bisexual, but the rape 'burned out' any facility I have for physical attraction to men. As I've gotten older, and I've found myself in various situations, I think that's not quite the case. I really don't have a desire to have sex with men, and never have, but I also really like being flirty with gay men, though not effeminate gay men.
What's going on? Do I fit into a useful genre of sexuality that might help me understand my nature more? It's all very confusing.