I want to be a beauty
May 14, 2012 9:22 AM Subscribe
How do I not let comments about my appearance affect me so much?
posted by anonymous to society & culture (33 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I'm female, early 30's, and comments about my appearance really affect me a lot. Lately I've been feeling pretty good about how I look- in fact just yesterday I was feeling on top of the world, very attractive, etc. I've developed a frequent exercise habit in the last year and a half, notice men "checking me out", and just yesterday was thinking I look pretty.
Then today, a random guy from the internet saw some photos I put up (one in which I thought was especially flattering) and said, when I asked him what he thought, "I can accept it, even though you're not a beauty". (context: he added me on an instant messenger service, he was looking for sex, basically. I don't think he was "negging" as I'm in a foreign country and don't think people do that here, but i have no idea). The fact that he was looking to have sex so could have easily lied and told me I was pretty leads me to believe he was telling the truth. I'm pretty sure he added me because I am foreign, hence seen as "easy" by locals.
So, I felt extremely hurt. I really am not a shallow person in other areas but I somehow can't shake the feeling that I want everyone to think I am pretty; I want to be "objectively pretty". I feel really depressed and hurt if someone says something negative about my appearance. Similarly, if someone gives me a compliment, I get really happy.
How do I stop this? Where does it come from? Do other women feel the same way? I'd really appreciate some tips :(