Guest at June wedding... if not a suit, then what?
May 13, 2012 10:52 PM Subscribe
As a male guest at an early June wedding, if not a suit, then what?
I'm just getting started with dressing like an adult, do not have a suit, and I'm not sure I want to invest in one just yet.
In early June I will be attending a close friend's wedding in Alaska. I believe it will be somewhat small, and I guess the dress code will not be overly formal.
What would be appropriate for me to wear?
I'm just getting started with dressing like an adult, do not have a suit, and I'm not sure I want to invest in one just yet.
In early June I will be attending a close friend's wedding in Alaska. I believe it will be somewhat small, and I guess the dress code will not be overly formal.
What would be appropriate for me to wear?
Depending on the weather, odds are good you can get away with slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie. It's your basic looking like a grownup outfit.
posted by brainmouse at 11:33 PM on May 13, 2012
posted by brainmouse at 11:33 PM on May 13, 2012
A collared shirt and khaki pants is plenty fancy for almost all situations in Alaska. Where's the wedding taking place -- outdoors? In a church? If outdoors, you'll be able to substitute nice jeans for the khakis. If it's in a church, add a tie to the basic khaki outfit. There will be people there in everything from tuxes to Carhartts -- that's what makes Alaska Alaska!
posted by summerstorm at 11:41 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by summerstorm at 11:41 PM on May 13, 2012 [1 favorite]
Seconding the whole slacks, dress shirt, & tie outfit. A lightweight suit could be found affordably, however, and could look quite dashing. Regardless if you go with an actual suit or the basic grownup outfit, I would suggest light neutrals for pants/blazer/suit (greys, tans, possibly cream or light blue if you are feeling particularly adventurous) and then light or bright colors for the shirt with brighter/deeper tie & accent colors. I think they are calling it a "pop of color" these days, but I just think of it as a fun, colorful contrast. To be honest, my first thought was a variation of the seersucker suit, but that may be too affected. Take a look a JCrew, which is not necessarily my retailer of choice, but they tend to have nice summery/ suit options that are wedding appropriate, affordable, and versatile.
posted by katemcd at 11:50 PM on May 13, 2012
posted by katemcd at 11:50 PM on May 13, 2012
you can usually suss out the dress code by the style of invitation.
another cue is the reception; picnic in the park? or full sit-down following nuptial mass?
Buying a pair of versatile dress slacks, prima cotton shirt (get it washed and starched at the dry cleaners) and a couple of ties...one on the casual, one on the dressy end of the spectrum.
You'll be covered for this wedding and all the social occasions that'll keep cropping up.
oh, and shine those shoes up. you'll be good to go.
posted by Twist at 11:53 PM on May 13, 2012
another cue is the reception; picnic in the park? or full sit-down following nuptial mass?
Buying a pair of versatile dress slacks, prima cotton shirt (get it washed and starched at the dry cleaners) and a couple of ties...one on the casual, one on the dressy end of the spectrum.
You'll be covered for this wedding and all the social occasions that'll keep cropping up.
oh, and shine those shoes up. you'll be good to go.
posted by Twist at 11:53 PM on May 13, 2012
You should be able to fake together a good suit for $50 at the absolute tops. None of my suits have run more than $30.
First of all, do you already own some slacks? Wear those to the Value Village or whatever the nearby thrift store is and start trying to match a jacket to them. Get measured beforehand if possible because figuring out your size by trying on a bunch of jackets is way more time consuming than matching the color. Not sure how it shakes out in your area, but around here most thrift stores have a pretty decent suit selection. Take a look and see what you can find. Take care not to go too big in the shoulders on the jacket and look like you raided your Dad's closet (a persistent problem with First Suits, it would seem).
The only thing I ever buy new are ties - is there a Ross near you? I've never seen a tie for more than ten dollars there. Most thrift store jackets top out at fifteen. Shirt? Five bucks. Pants? Five bucks, maybe six. The only big investment you gotta make is taking the time to try on everything and make sure the colors work together.
If you can't afford it you can't afford it, but if you're entering a Dress Like a Grownup cycle anyhow, then this is a fine time to try and assemble your first thrift store suit. (WARNING: it's habit-forming)
posted by EatTheWeek at 11:56 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
First of all, do you already own some slacks? Wear those to the Value Village or whatever the nearby thrift store is and start trying to match a jacket to them. Get measured beforehand if possible because figuring out your size by trying on a bunch of jackets is way more time consuming than matching the color. Not sure how it shakes out in your area, but around here most thrift stores have a pretty decent suit selection. Take a look and see what you can find. Take care not to go too big in the shoulders on the jacket and look like you raided your Dad's closet (a persistent problem with First Suits, it would seem).
The only thing I ever buy new are ties - is there a Ross near you? I've never seen a tie for more than ten dollars there. Most thrift store jackets top out at fifteen. Shirt? Five bucks. Pants? Five bucks, maybe six. The only big investment you gotta make is taking the time to try on everything and make sure the colors work together.
If you can't afford it you can't afford it, but if you're entering a Dress Like a Grownup cycle anyhow, then this is a fine time to try and assemble your first thrift store suit. (WARNING: it's habit-forming)
posted by EatTheWeek at 11:56 PM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]
I hate wearing suits for anything other than meetings with the client. For all times when I want to loosen up and have fun, but still need to be formal, I wear kurtas. Might be difficult to pull it off in the Alaskan weather, though.
posted by the cydonian at 1:52 AM on May 14, 2012
posted by the cydonian at 1:52 AM on May 14, 2012
My husband gets his suits from thrift stores and rummage sales, for the very few events where he might wear one (weddings and funerals). As others have said you can put together a nice outfit with sports jacket and pants too. One of my sons does this as well. Just try on some stuff, see what works.
posted by mermayd at 3:48 AM on May 14, 2012
posted by mermayd at 3:48 AM on May 14, 2012
Chinos, brown shoes, dress shirt, and a navy blazer jacket. Going with a dress shirt and tie but no jacket is the surest way, in my opinion, to look like a teenager. Men wear jackets. You really can't go wrong with this combination and there are plenty of stores out there where you can put it together.
posted by fso at 4:46 AM on May 14, 2012 [4 favorites]
posted by fso at 4:46 AM on May 14, 2012 [4 favorites]
If you're getting started dressing like an adult, you should invest in a suit because from time to time you will need one.
It might be a mistake to guess at the dress code. My understanding is that people wear suits at weddings unless stated otherwise. That said, if it is more casual than a suit situation, go with the dress shirt and blazer. Like fso said, you can't look like an adult with a dress shirt and tie but no jacket.
posted by J. Wilson at 5:59 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
It might be a mistake to guess at the dress code. My understanding is that people wear suits at weddings unless stated otherwise. That said, if it is more casual than a suit situation, go with the dress shirt and blazer. Like fso said, you can't look like an adult with a dress shirt and tie but no jacket.
posted by J. Wilson at 5:59 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
brainmouse: "Depending on the weather, odds are good you can get away with slacks, a dress shirt, and a tie. It's your basic looking like a grownup outfit"
NO! No tie without a jacket. "Looking like a grownup" is right:
posted by I am the Walrus at 6:11 AM on May 14, 2012 [5 favorites]
NO! No tie without a jacket. "Looking like a grownup" is right:
16. Only wear a tie if you’re also wearing a suit or sportcoat (or, very casually, a sweater). Shirt, tie and no jacket is the wedding uniform of a nine-year-old.Button up shirt and slacks is fine.
posted by I am the Walrus at 6:11 AM on May 14, 2012 [5 favorites]
FYI: Been to a ton of weddings in rural/small town areas where older folks wear JEANS with tucked in shirts, and many wear tie without jacket.
posted by sandmanwv at 6:11 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
posted by sandmanwv at 6:11 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
I think the no tie without a jacket "rule" is somewhat imaginary. I'm sure you will be fine. Just choose a shirt and tie that are complementary to each other, and that look complete without a jacket.
However, a short sleeved shirt and a tie is not appropriate for social occasions. (Contrary to some, however, I think it is perfectly acceptable in many work situations.)
posted by gjc at 6:30 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
However, a short sleeved shirt and a tie is not appropriate for social occasions. (Contrary to some, however, I think it is perfectly acceptable in many work situations.)
posted by gjc at 6:30 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Either a navy blue blazer or a camelhair sports coat will serve you will in a huge variety of circumstances. You can search thrift shops or hit up places like TJ Maxx, Marshalls, etc. Wear the navy blue blazer with khakis or grey slacks and the camelhair with brown or grey slacks. Geranimals for grownups.
posted by carmicha at 6:42 AM on May 14, 2012
posted by carmicha at 6:42 AM on May 14, 2012
I had the perfect idea for you, right up until you said Alaska. For future reference, a guayabera shirt is the dernier cri for summer beach weddings.
Long sleeved for winter, short sleeved for summer. Linen pants, and a nice pair of hurrache sandals, and you're in business.
I nth the suit from a thrift store idea. You need a suit.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:59 AM on May 14, 2012
Long sleeved for winter, short sleeved for summer. Linen pants, and a nice pair of hurrache sandals, and you're in business.
I nth the suit from a thrift store idea. You need a suit.
posted by Ruthless Bunny at 6:59 AM on May 14, 2012
and I guess the dress code will not be overly formal.
Why would you do this? Find out first; otherwise this is a waste of time.
But in general, you should get a suit if you want to start dressing like an adult. Adults have to wear suits sometimes, and it can be more frequent than you'd guess. This is especially true if you're in the age bracket where a lot of people you know are getting married.
posted by spaltavian at 7:32 AM on May 14, 2012
Why would you do this? Find out first; otherwise this is a waste of time.
But in general, you should get a suit if you want to start dressing like an adult. Adults have to wear suits sometimes, and it can be more frequent than you'd guess. This is especially true if you're in the age bracket where a lot of people you know are getting married.
posted by spaltavian at 7:32 AM on May 14, 2012
I'd try the thrift shop first - all the ones around. A simple wool suit or failing that a sports coat that doesn't look too crappy or dated.
It can be hard to find one that fits though and you might need the sleeves lengthened, as I find its usually short armed men who give suits to thrift shops but you should be able to do a suit for 50 bucks or less.
The alternative would be just get some basic trousers and a sports coat from some budget place. no-one will notice too much. Most people at weddings are dressed terribly anyway.
posted by mary8nne at 7:56 AM on May 14, 2012
It can be hard to find one that fits though and you might need the sleeves lengthened, as I find its usually short armed men who give suits to thrift shops but you should be able to do a suit for 50 bucks or less.
The alternative would be just get some basic trousers and a sports coat from some budget place. no-one will notice too much. Most people at weddings are dressed terribly anyway.
posted by mary8nne at 7:56 AM on May 14, 2012
I guess the dress code will not be overly formal.
Wearing a suit and tie isn't "overly formal" for a wedding. That's the default, so I don't see why you'd "guess" that the wedding is more casual than that.
I also don't follow your reasoning about how you do want to dress more like an adult, but aren't sure you want to "invest" in a suit yet. Being invited to a wedding is exactly the kind of thing that makes having a suit a smart investment.
Look, if you don't feel like wearing a suit, go ahead and show up without a suit -- but realize you might be underdressed. That isn't the end of the world; there are usually some people who are undressed at a big event like this. You're free to decide to be one of them. But it doesn't seem like your attitude is "I just don't care if I'm underdressed"; it seems like your attitude is "I want to dress appropriately and consider this an early step in starting to dress more like an adult." If I'm right about that, then wear a suit and tie.
posted by John Cohen at 8:10 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Wearing a suit and tie isn't "overly formal" for a wedding. That's the default, so I don't see why you'd "guess" that the wedding is more casual than that.
I also don't follow your reasoning about how you do want to dress more like an adult, but aren't sure you want to "invest" in a suit yet. Being invited to a wedding is exactly the kind of thing that makes having a suit a smart investment.
Look, if you don't feel like wearing a suit, go ahead and show up without a suit -- but realize you might be underdressed. That isn't the end of the world; there are usually some people who are undressed at a big event like this. You're free to decide to be one of them. But it doesn't seem like your attitude is "I just don't care if I'm underdressed"; it seems like your attitude is "I want to dress appropriately and consider this an early step in starting to dress more like an adult." If I'm right about that, then wear a suit and tie.
posted by John Cohen at 8:10 AM on May 14, 2012 [1 favorite]
Where in Alaska?
Also, why don't you enquire as to the dress code?
Even in Alaska, where no one dresses up for anything (unless you're in a job that requires a coat and tie---there are a few), I would still wear a suit or sportscoat and tie to a wedding (if I were male), but then, I was raised in the lower 48. I bet there will be folks in jeans.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:17 AM on May 14, 2012
Also, why don't you enquire as to the dress code?
Even in Alaska, where no one dresses up for anything (unless you're in a job that requires a coat and tie---there are a few), I would still wear a suit or sportscoat and tie to a wedding (if I were male), but then, I was raised in the lower 48. I bet there will be folks in jeans.
posted by leahwrenn at 9:17 AM on May 14, 2012
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by nrobertson at 11:23 PM on May 13, 2012