How do I deal with a family member that turns offhand comments into personal attacks against them, as well as putting themselves down.
A close family member has this habit of taking things personally that aren't (anything from another family member being exhausted and short with them after being up all night with their newborn to a stranger on the street giving them a sour face.) They can get pretty wound up about it.
There are also a lot of "everyone think I'm a doormat", "everyone treats me like shit", "everyone thinks I'm stupid", etc type comments.
They also tend to do big overblown acts of kindness that are followed by martyrdom that they were not thanked or thought highly enough in return. They could have easily have written this question
I don't think I'd have the same issues dealing with this in someone else, but with this relative it's been going on my entire life and the ball of anxiety that bursts in my chest when it happens can set me off edge for hours.
I would love it if I could get them to stop doing it, but fully understand you can't change people. What's the best way to react? Ignoring it and changing the subject has not been working. What can I say?
Advice on how to emotionally handle it just as I would with a stranger on the bus would also be appreciated.