"Lend me your ears and I'll sing you a song..."

May 12, 2012 3:35 AM

I want to teach myself how to sing, but am clueless as to how to go about doing it (or whether I’m even cut out for it). Help! (Details inside.)

I want to learn/teach myself how to sing, but have no idea where to start or whether I’m even cut out for it. This has been nagging at me for some time and I can’t think of a better resource to turn to for advice than all of you good people here in AskMeFi.

Some background
I’ve been a casual guitar player for close to 15 years now. I’m self taught and have never taken it too seriously—I’ve always been satisfied just jamming on my favorite tunes to unwind after work or to kick off a relaxing day off. The type of music I play, however, is simple from a technical standpoint and is frankly pretty uninteresting without a voice to go with it. (As a point of reference, I listen to/play a lot of Jack Johnson, Ben Harper, Sublime, Dispatch, Donavon Frankenreiter, and similar artists.)

I’ve felt for years that I would love to be able to confidently sing along while I play. Whenever I try it, though, I’m left feeling so discouraged about how awful my untrained, unpracticed voice sounds that I inevitably revert back to playing the rhythm only. I recognize that confidence (rather, lack thereof) is a big factor in this. When I listen to recordings of myself singing I lose confidence in my ability, which subsequently has a negative effect on my voice (i.e. I don’t project as much), which triggers another drop in confidence, etc., until I finally get so frustrated that I just give up. I can’t seem to break this vicious cycle. Also, I am fairly confident in my ability to hear tonal difference, but there is a disconnect when I try reproducing what I hear. (I just can’t get my larynx to produce what I want it to without heavy adjusting.)

I know up front that lots and lots of practice is the only way I’m ever going to reach a level that I’m satisfied with. I also am not looking to be an amazing singer; I just would like to be able to confidently hold a tune and be able to someday surprise a future romantic interest with a song or sing to my children.

My questions
- How do you recommend getting over this?
- What resources do you recommend that teach the basic terminology and concepts about singing?
- Are there any common diagnostic tools or methods to help me learn about and describe my own ability (range, etc.) it a meta-sense?
- I’m making the assumption that anyone can sing half-way decently with enough practice, but is it true that some people just can’t sing? How can I tell if I am one of those people and should just throw in the towel?
- Tell me about your own path to learning how to sing or about your own struggle with similar experiences. What was the turning point for you? What resources did you use?

Some extra information about my situation, if it helps with your answers
I’m 28 y.o., have healthy lungs (I’m a runner) and don’t smoke. Also, I live in a small, thin-walled apartment, so volume restrictions apply. I was exposed to music theory in a couple of classes in college, but my understanding of even basic concepts is shaky at best. When I do stay in key (which I can do pretty well by singing along while listening to something on headphones), my voice sounds gutless and weak. (I don’t know if falsetto is the right term to describe this…It’s like my larynx and upper respiratory system is doing 100% of the work when I feel like I really should be using my core (diaphragm?) a lot more.). Anyhow, I want less of the weak “falsetto” voice and more of the rough, powerful qualities that make a singing voice interesting. (Does that make sense?) Finally, I do know a couple of women who are music majors and who sing professionally (well, as part-time jobs for a wedding business). They are resources I am strongly considering, as I can probably negotiate some “free” lessons in exchange for English lessons (I live in Japan).

Sorry this was so long! Thanks in advance for taking the time to read and reply.

(Also, I'm currently looking into the links posted in this similar AskMe from 2007, but would appreciate any advice relevant to my particular situation. Thanks!)

posted by Kevtaro to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (9 answers total)

Have you ever sung in a choir or choral group? That might be a quick way to have someone assess your voice quality, to see if you can carry a tune at all. Sometimes people are not aware of how good or bad they sound to others.

Beyond that, it sounds as if you really need to invest in voice lessons, Do take advantage of the free lessons, that is a place to start.
posted by mermayd at 4:16 AM on May 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best answer: I am strongly of the opinion that with practice, the vast majority of people can sing competently. With your guitar playing you've already shown to yourself that you can do the rhythm side, which is one common difficulty.

I agree that you should have some lessons and you should use them to work on very basic technique. I believe that's mostly about breath and posture.

The thing about your larynx not doing what you wanted in your head in what every singer is working against! Don't despair - it will improve with lots of practice. I don't normally bother with singing scales unless I'm warming up, but it does give you lots of practice at what it feels like to make notes at different pitches using your voice and a feel for which parts in your voice tend to feel strained and difficult, which parts go flat and which parts go sharp. Arpeggios are useful for similar reasons.

One other very useful thing you should do in voice lessons is get your teacher to work through your range with you, tell you your type of voice (bass, baritone, tenor) and match that to the type of songs you are trying to sing. You may not physically be able to sing certain songs without transposing them. You may also not have the same tone as the singers you are trying to emulate and there is only so much you can do about that.

When you are practicing at home, choose a time when you are least likely to annoy your neighbours - practicing while feeling like you have to hold back a little all the time will affect your projection and can result in your weak and breathy sound.

Personally, I would avoid recording yourself for a bit - it always sounds far worse than it really is and you will always focus on the faults rather than the progress.

Good luck - it's incredibly rewarding.
posted by kadia_a at 5:09 AM on May 12, 2012 [3 favorites]

Take your acquaintances up on a free/barter lesson. Someone with training in using the voice as an instrument who can watch and listen to your singing is much more likely to provide useful advice specific to the few small aspects of technique that will markedly improve your singing than even an expert on the Internet.

Singing is effectively playing an instrument and requires that level of attention. Singing while playing guitar is significantly more difficult than singing only.
posted by thatdawnperson at 7:03 AM on May 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Yes, singing lessons, but y'know, while you're waiting for those, you can try this to get the feeling of breathing from and using your diaphragm:

Put your hands on your hips. Now slide them up to your ribcage. Breathe normally, and see what this feels like. Maybe sing a little bit the way you're accustomed to.

Now: try to push your hands apart by expanding your ribcage. If this is hard, work on that for a bit till you know what that feels like. Now, when you breathe in, try to do that same thing: expand your ribcage with your breath and push your hands apart. See what it's like to hold it. Singing takes a lot of strength in this area; that's what you will use to do the work, not the feeling of using your "upper respiratory system."

When you take a breath while singing, it's going to come from here, not from lifting or shrugging your shoulders up. That alone will help you out quite a bit, once you get the hang of it.

Also: long car commutes by yourself. :]
posted by fiercecupcake at 7:11 AM on May 12, 2012 [3 favorites]

Best answer: Something I'd recommend, in addition to lessons or specific exercises, is just to get in the habit of fooling around using your voice in unfamiliar ways. Do funny voices. Sing in the car or the shower — but sing in different styles, try singing louder or quieter or higher or lower than normal, try different ways you can shape your mouth or your throat, tense things and relax things. Try imitating different singers. Not even necessarily "good" singers, or even singers you like: do Tom Waits; do Bob Dylan; do John Darnielle. And just basically see what happens.

You'll get a better feel for all the possible things you can do with your voice — including many that sound bad or feel bad, but also including some that sound and feel good and are worth practicing more.

True story: The first time I figured out how to support my voice properly, I was imitating my friend Ben who was doing a jokey rendition of what it might hypothetically sound like if Elvis had tried to perform with the Ramones. I never did manage to make it sound like the Ramones, or Elvis, or even my friend Ben, but somehow that combination of ideas got me to do the right combination of physical things to get a loud deep fully-supported singing voice out of my mouth for the first time ever. So, I mean, seriously, just try shit.
posted by nebulawindphone at 7:42 AM on May 12, 2012 [6 favorites]

Best answer: I am taking what I call "remedial singing lessons" myself.

One thing I was going to recommend was a voice pitch trainer. Here's one I like: >http://www.singandsee.com/

I think you can get it for a free trial period. It gives visual feedback about whether you're matching the pitch, or how far off you are. But it sounds like that is not your problem or the main concern.

But it can indirectly help you figure out your range, by seeing your range there and then comparing the notes you match to something that lays out the different ranges. (I'm a woman, but I think my range is closer to a tenor.)

I highly recommend lessons. And from things I've read, (almost) anyone can learn to sing decently. Early on, my teacher told me that I'm an "interesting case."

But she has worked with me to break things into small, achievable pieces and progress in small stages. Besides the actual instruction, a teacher should see your progress and tell you and encourage you.

I'll tell you a little about how this has gone for me, which might or might not apply to you, but might give you concrete encouragement. We started off with breathing exercises.

She gives me vocal exercises, at least partly to learn how to control my voice better. Some of these are: going up and down through my range smoothly, trying to match the pitch of her voice or a guitar note, combining different vowels with particular consonants.

Get a teacher who is trained in music, not just someone who sings, not just someone who knows music, but who understands how the body reproduces it. My teacher explains physiological aspects and uses different "modes," not just to communicate different things to my mind, but to help train my body to reproduce the sounds as they should be.
posted by maurreen at 9:34 AM on May 12, 2012 [3 favorites]

As an experienced singer, I would add that it's not practical to assume you can teach yourself to sing- you have to get feedback from an outside source. Someone else has to be looped in to your process. Ideally, this would be a voice teacher or coach from the musical realm relevant to your preferred musical genre.
posted by I_Love_Bananas at 3:19 PM on May 12, 2012 [1 favorite]

Best answer: what it feels like to make notes at different pitches using your voice and a feel for which parts in your voice tend to feel strained and difficult, which parts go flat and which parts go sharp. -kadia a

Sing in the car or the shower — but sing in different styles, try singing louder or quieter or higher or lower than normal, try different ways you can shape your mouth or your throat, tense things and relax things. -nebulawindphone

Yup yup yup yup yup. Your larynx is currently an untrained muscle. Just like you trained your fingers so that now you can play G,C,D chords without really thinking about it - through repetition and practice and making mistakes - you need to do the same with the muscles you use to sing. You need to develop your vocal "muscle memory", and there's just no substitute for practice.

One of the possible advantages of the singing lessons your friends could offer is that you will have a space to practice where you won't disturb your residential neighbors. I also really like singing in the car, because I can belt it out, and so what if the people in the other cars can hear me - they're gone in a couple of seconds.

Because you're on the right track with your analysis of the relationship between volume & singing from the diaphragm and pitch and tone. I've got a deep voice (I suppose somewhere between bass & baritone), and there are some notes I will never ever hit with my full voice (damn you, Chris Cornell), but I lose at least an octave of my upper range singing at "not disturbing my neighbors" level versus the way I would sing when actually performing. I've no doubt you can sing, you've just got to find a space where you can practice and train while actually, y'know, singing rather than just kind of semi-whispering in your apartment.
posted by soundguy99 at 6:00 AM on May 13, 2012 [2 favorites]

Response by poster: Excellent ideas, everyone. Thank you for taking the time to answer my questions in such detail. The two big things I'm getting from your responses are A) that I need lessons or an outside, experienced source of feedback, and B) that I need a place where I can sing without feeling pressure to hold back.

I've got A covered, as your responses convinced me to ask one of my singing acquaintances for private lesson. B, won't be as easy, however, since it's really hard to find isolated areas in this crowded country. Maybe the answer is to take my guitar and just start hitting up karaoke joints by myself.

At any rate, thanks again.
posted by Kevtaro at 7:40 AM on May 17, 2012