When will the time come that what my mom says does not matter to me
May 3, 2012 5:27 PM Subscribe
how not to feel the need to justify myself in front of my parents. Because their approval should not matter at this point of my life, but I am still angry when they compares me to others in achievement.
posted by akomom to Human Relations (8 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I can understand wanting to please your parents when you are kid or teenager, but at mid-life, you think you can grow out of this. But I found it hard. Right now, my parents lives with me for a few months to help me out with my kids while I look for a new job. My mom "tries to help" by pointing out how others were able to find jobs while holding the old job. I got mad at her for saying so, since I kind of left my current job and stayed home for the kids for a while, now looking for a job. She always measure me against others. She also uses her children as her hope to a better life, which is understandable. I just feel that my mom does not know much about the job market in my field, she does not understand what I want and my inner growth. But the thing is I know logically that her words and thinking should not matter. I have my own standard of what I want, I forgive myself for my mistakes, I am excited to embrace life's new challenges and opportunities. It will be silly to still try to please your parents to live your life. But obvious, my logical thinking and my emotions do not match. Once in a while, I feel very angry that I have a mom like her. I try to love her, and understand why she does what she does, but it's hard to control my bad feelings toward her. I know she sacrificed a lot for us, I want to take care of her in the future the best I can, but I am stuck with the angry feelings I have toward her. I know therapy will help, but I want overcome this myself and would appreciate how others did this in similar situations.