Nun? Or libertine?
April 27, 2012 1:19 PM Subscribe
I'm dealing with depression and don't want to date until my brain is a bit more balanced. In the meantime, should I just completely avoid men, or attempt the FWB thing and hope that neither of us develop feelings for the other?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (19 answers total) 9 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 35 and have been dealing with depression since I was a teenager. The depression is still quite severe and I'm currently seeing a psychiatrist for medication and therapy.
For the past 3-4 years I haven't dated at all; I feel like I need to at least get a little better before pursuing a relationship. I also have terrible self-esteem and self-confidence which I know I have to address. During this time no men had approached me and I didn't approach them.
Being invisible was ok for a few years but it eventually got a little boring; also I was masturbating so much that I thought I'd give myself carpal tunnel syndrome. So for the past few months I've been posting/responding to FWB ads. I am always clear that I am not looking for a serious relationship, always have safe sex, etc. I have very low expectations for these FWB arrangements, but no matter how well they go I never hear from the guy again after 1 - 2 "dates".
I am trying so hard to get better; it's really frustrating me that it's taking so long. Ideally, in my depression-addled mind, I would just be a robot and have no need for human contact. There is just so much work I have to do and I am so messed up about men and relationships.
Please let me know if you have any advice, or if you have been in this situation too. Throwaway email is firstname.lastname@example.org.