What if little Tommy wants to be a girl?
April 27, 2012 12:48 PM Subscribe
Seeking resources for a friend who is mom to a (possibly transgender) questioning 5-year-old boy.
posted by AnOrigamiLife to human relations (26 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
He'll be 5 soon and starting kindergarten this year. Has since the beginning of time wanted to wear the pink and frilly dresses and shoes of his female playmates. Has typically feminine mannerisms and preferences. Has confirmed to his male playmates' inquiries that yes, he likes girl toys more than boy toys. And he's drawn to hanging out with girls more than boys.
Has parents fortunately just let him be him to what seems a very reasonable extent. In the beginning I think they were sure it would pass, that he'd grown out of it. When they show him "boy" toys (trucks and such), he says things like "My friend Charlie at school would love that!" Instead, he knows all the princesses, has the books and outfits, tiaras and fairy wands. He was Cinderella for Halloween last year and so very proud of his costume. His parents allow him to wear dresses sometimes when he wants to, and he seems to be okay with it when they tell him no, this is not one of those times. His wand and tiara are never far away.
His parents no longer think it's a phase that will pass, and they naturally have concerns for him. When they moved across town recently, they investigated schools and considered their options in case he begins to have problems as he gets older with peer acceptance or bullying. They live, fortunately, in a pretty accepting place: Portland, OR.
The internets abound with resources for teens, and parents of teens. But what about for the parents of small children showing transgender tendencies? (and is that even an appropriate term at this stage?). Any forums out there like MeFi? Or support groups to help parents with very young children exchange notes and ideas and resources? Links or book recommendations?