"American feminism is rife with hypocrisy, double-standards, and dysfunctionality; yet it pervades all our modern culture..."Few men I know would argue that we live in a feminist utopia (or even dystopia). Women still make less money and are Right This Minute fighting to keep the few hard-won rights that they have over the control of their reproductive rights. I get that life in America isn't all fun and games for men either, and those who feel frustrated and lonely are bound to reach some pretty effed up conclusions about why that is.
"While I do not wish to focus on appearance or dress style (the world is shallow enough as it is), my primary complaints and beef against American women are that they are 1) unapproachable, anti-social, and cliquish toward strangers, and 2) lack depth, substance, and culture, making it difficult to connect with them, find common ground or chemistry. If it weren’t for these, America would be a much better place."You might point out that this author, and those like him, are clearly suffering from a self-fulling prophecy -- why would women want to act approachable, social, and gregarious toward a man who bears such anti-social and ugly prejudices so proudly? There is real hypocrisy in faulting women for being dismissive of men who probably aren't that good at masking their resentment of women. The difference is, as a man, he feels entitled to that attention.
Compared to the US, men in Russia/Europe have a much richer and refined intellectual life, are more cultured, higher educated, have a broader knowledge of the world, and speak many more languages (most of them speak between 2 and 5 languages while most American men speak only their own). Unlike # 2 and 3 though, this one requires interaction with the men in these regions to notice. In contrast, not only do most young men in the US not value having an intellectual life, but they lack curiosity as well, and can’t even hold an intelligent conversation. Often trying to hold even a normal conversation with them is like talking to a dead wall...posted by hermitosis at 4:10 PM on April 23, 2012 [17 favorites]
I hate to say something so politically incorrect and offensive, but the following is absolutely true. In Russia and Europe, between 95 and 100 percent of the young men are skinny or height/weight proportionate. In contrast, in the USA between 40 and 60 percent of the men are overweight, varying among region. This is absolutely indisputable, apparent, objectively measurable, and not subject to relative opinion or standards at all, as it has to do with obvious physical differences apparent to the naked eye that even the biggest idiot in the world who goes to both regions could identify immediately without effort.
I think it's quite possible that the author is making claims that seem true to his personal experience; I know that some people find it easier to socialize in some cultural contexts and harder in others, and introduction/approach norms do vary across the world. It may be that for a number of reasons the author is better adapted to this in cultures other than those he's encountered in the US.Third, it reminds me of all the "nice guys" writing into agony aunt columns, about how women don't want to be with them. In the case of the third, it's generally that these "nice guys" are actually controlling, misogynist or just plain resentful. Generally speaking, when you keep having the same negative experience with all these different people, the issue is you, not everyone else.
However, there's a couple of warning flags for me that make me think he's really overstating his claims at best and likely leading people astray:
(1) Some very sweeping generalization. The United States is a pretty big place with a lot of different kinds of people. How likely does it really seem that his assertions apply across all the regions and demographics across the entire country?
(2) He makes some pretty strong statements that assert heavy empirical weight: "I can guarantee 100 percent that the following [is] true and testable", "the material on my site proves without a doubt", "the following is absolutely true". There's also a couple of places where he gives percentages relating to body weight and other traits/behavior, which implies some kind of sample/study. But he doesn't seem to actually back this up with anything other than some photos or more essays -- there's no links to anthropological/sociological studies or anything else that you'd think would come with such statements of empirical confidence. It points to the idea that the author may be a bit confused about the difference between his own experience and generally proven facts.
(3) The site seems to be sortof an informercial for the author's ebooks. That means he has a commercial interest in overstating the value of what he's offering (in this case, his insights into dating norms across cultures) like a lot of other puffery out there in the sales and marketing world. Or make it linkbait.
(4) Think about the individuals you know and if this really holds up there. Yeah, dating is often frustrating (for everybody, even the women, believe it or not), but you probably know people who do just fine and even some who've found lasting love.
Finally... it's kindof hard for me not to take this personally. I'm an American woman/I count a number of lovely American women as my friends, and the author seems to be saying that the probability is high that as such, I am/they are overweight, underdressed, uncultured, unapproachable, and bitchy. I'd like to think that's not what you think of me/them.
Like I said, I do think it's possible people find dating easier in different cultural contexts, and it might be fun to try on a few and see. But the author is going well beyond that into making claims that are neither well-supported or kind. I'd like to see less of that in the world.
Or is his confusion stemming from somewhere else? Getting closer to the root of his comprehension of the issue will make it easier for me to dig up reading material/make suggestions.
(yes, this made my blood boil also.)
posted by bilabial at 3:24 PM on April 23, 2012