How does an (almost) full time single parent cope with loss, change, and loneliness?
April 16, 2012 10:56 AM Subscribe
How does a single parent cope with an already limited social life and general stress with the added crap of breaking up (again!)?
posted by retrofitted to human relations (10 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I'm 33, divorced, and just recently moved (within the same town, but still major stress). My relationship (with a truly great guy) of ten months has ended. I'm very sad about it, and need to figure out how to deal, pick up the pieces and move on. I read all sorts of advice about new hobbies, new friends, getting out and doing stuff...but I'm a single parent of a small child, whom I have physically about 90% of the time. The nights are lonely in particular. Just about all of my friends are partnered and I'm feeling isolated and just sad. I currently do not live in the same city as my family, and the time difference doesn't help when I could use someone to talk to in the evening.
What gets me is that when I was newly divorced with a little baby, I was going through hell, yet incredibly happy because I knew the end of that relationship was the best thing for me and my kid. I felt like I got my life back and I could do anything I wanted. I maintained that feeling for a long time, until now.
It seems like this feeling (loneliness, rejection, despair) will last forever. I just want to crawl into bed and cry. I can't. I have to work full time, cook, clean, play, transport, shop...I want to be a happy, functional Mom, and I also want to be happy and content with my own life. I feel like I can do neither at the moment. I did see a therapist back in the day, but I don't think that is possible at this time.
I know there is hope for a 30-something single Mom to be happy again, I just can't quite grasp onto it right now. I'm in the "I will be single forever" mode (which, once upon a time, was totally fine with me!). Help me find that hope.