Why isn't online dating working for me?
April 9, 2012 10:14 PM Subscribe
Online dating never seems to progress past the smalltalk stage. What am I doing wrong? Most men who message me never ask me out. I've sometimes done the asking, but nothing has come of it. I've had to repel a lot of unsavory advances, but other than that, I get no offers. And lately, nobody has messaged me at all.
posted by windykites to human relations (22 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
I'm female, 25, finished school but I don't have a job yet, and very very very shy. I live in a suburb of Toronto that's just far enough away to make going to events in the city a hassle.
I don't know many people here and the best way I could think of to meet guys was online dating. But, most of the messages I get are smalltalk one-liners. I don't really know how to progress that into a real conversation. I try asking these guys about themselves, but the conversations just never seem to pick up momentum.
None of these guys who message me asks to meet in person. I've asked one who seemed interested, and he responded positively, but then never actually called me. Most of the guys who do contact me come off as pretty seedy... not trying to sound overly picky, but (for example), I recently had someone ask me for full body pics. I had another significantly older male who was looking for a female submissive to join his polyamorous BDSM relationship. I ain't judging, but my profile made it pretty clear what I'm looking for, and that's definitely not it.
When I initiate contact with guys, they're not interested. And lately I haven't been recieving any messages at all, not even the small-talk one-liners. I really don't know what to do! Am I doing something wrong? I haven't been asked on a date since I broke up with my ex around New Years. Any advice or tips would be greatly appreciated.