help me get close to others
April 9, 2012 7:25 AM Subscribe
I really shine in social situations that are light and superficial, but I feel uncomfortable with deeper connections. How can I fix this?
posted by 200burritos to human relations (6 answers total) 21 users marked this as a favorite
I really shine in social situations that are light and superficial. I like going out with groups of people and I like people in general. My phone calls always get returned and people text me/write on my Facebook wall. Old friends who haven't seen me in a long time get really excited when I walk into a room. However, I don't feel like I'm really close with anybody. I haven't had a best friend since high school/college. How can I fix this? I get nervous when I get 'close' to people. I don't feel like I am truly likable when others get to know me--I feel like my personality thrives on shallow social connections and dies with deeper ones. I can't really feel comfortable with a person unless I've known them forever and ever. I do have serious trust issues--my family was really abusive and I haven't talked to either one of my parents in years. I also moved around a lot as a child. I feel so uncomfortable with deeper connections that it's hard for me to look at people in the eyes. I often feel as though I need to hide my true self and always make others feel comfortable. How can I fix this? Is this normal? Do I need to start reaching out to others? How can I tell if my true personality is actually unlikable? I am in the early half of my 20s, so I hope that I can change. Ideally, I'd like to have deeper friendships. I want to have people that I'd include in my wedding party and vice versa (obviously not a final goal, but just an example of the deepness of it all).