One night stand is driving me mad
April 5, 2012 9:23 AM Subscribe
Why do we want ppl the more they don't want us and how can I start talking myself out of really bad ideas? (e.g. - once I get an idea *usually bad* in my head to do something, I rationalize to the hilt why I should follow through and always end up doing it) Help me find balance! ....
posted by soooo to human relations (16 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I've left the guy from my last question alone for a month now. I ignored him in class and blocked his fb so I wouldn't look at it. Unfortunately, I talked myself into looking recently and now I feel sick to my stomach b/c of the links he's been exchanging w/ one particular girl (an old friend he seems very close to)...
I feel crazy for thinking about him b/c I don't think he has given me one thought. I've gone on 2 dates since and flirted w/ other guys. I've backed out on dates and turned down others bc I'm not as attracted to them as I was to him and it feels like a step down... my mind and heart still seems to be on the one who doesn't want me. Maybe b/c he seemed so genuinely good and exemplified "my type" while the other guys seem so fake or are drunkards (eg. - although he drinks he never lost his frame and got drunk around me like one of my dates.) Yet I know he isn't good b/c of the way he treated me at the end. ALTHOUGH I feel like I might've backed away slowly if a guy had played their cards the way I did - so can I really say he is no good?
I can't get this out of my head! I don't want to, but I think about the part I played in driving him off and why I acted this way (not being cool, being impatient & overeager, being aggressive and making it way too easy.. I kick myself and am embarrassed - I wonder what the hell happened to my confidence and pride and what made me bend them when I became the chaser and we lost the push/pull dynamic (talking myself into bad ideas constantly)
Also, this girl from fb is not very attractive imo (I know I'm biased) and it's killing me! Idk - I want to stop feeling this way pronto! What else can I do or tell myself that can shift my emotions and stop the crazy? How can I prevent myself from justifying bad decisions in the future and how can I convince myself that if a guy doesn't want me to back off, instead of trying to make him (although it temporarily worked in this case) when I have a pro-active/take charge outlook on life and hate feeling powerless? Is it even wrong to try - haven't we all come to like people who we may have initially dismissed?