It's all about her.
March 29, 2012 12:46 PM Subscribe
No matter what problem I try to discuss with a friend, she always turns the conversation to a similar problem SHE'S had. Any way I can make her stop?
posted by shelayna to human relations (40 answers total) 15 users marked this as a favorite
I have a bit of a problem with a friend. Most of the time we have a great relationship- she is kind, caring, would do anything for me. Love her. But there is something she does quite often that really bothers me.
Whenever I am telling her about a problem I'm having/situation I'm going through, she will often cut me off mid-sentence with "The same thing happened to me!" and then proceed to tell me about HER problem. She does this to everyone, actually- sometimes she will just talk over the person who was talking until they shut up and she can tell her story with everyone listening. It happens with big things and little things- the other day a mutual friend was talking about a Barbie doll she had as a little girl, and my friend cut her off mid-sentence with an exclamation about HER childhood Barbies and the other friend was forced to shut up until my friend was finished talking. This happens a lot. I actually get embarrassed when she does this.
This behavior puzzles me, because in every other way she is very considerate of others and cannot tolerate rude behavior. She goes out of her way to be kind and tactful and never wants to hurt people's feelings. I don't think she has a big ego and thinks HER story is more important- because the rest of the time, her behavior doesn't demonstrate a big ego at all. I think she is just truly unaware of what she's doing- just clueless. I guess I'm used to it, but I have seen others obviously taken aback when she does this- but she doesn't notice.
I'm hesitant to come out and tell her about this bad habit of hers. She is very sensitive and I'm afraid this would hurt our friendship. Other than this problem, we get along great- but this is really getting on my nerves.
Is there a way I can let her know what she's doing without actually having to say it? Or, if I must say it, is there a way I can say it that won't offend her? This friendship is important to me, and this habit of hers isn't something I'd ever "dump" her over, so I'd like to somehow make her stop doing this. Any advice?