a Jewish godfather?
March 25, 2012 3:36 PM Subscribe
My brother has been asked to become the godfather (is the sponsor of a Jewish child a godfather?) of his old friend's coming baby boy. The friend is not Jewish, but the baby will be Jewish. What are the duties of a Jewish godfather and what gift would be appropriate for him to give to the baby?
For complicated reasons, the parents are not married and will not be getting married but the prospective father will be very involved in the life of his son. Thanks in advance for ignoring my mistakes in terminology or gaffes having to do with my ignorance of Judaism and Jewish culture; my brother and I are ordinary, garden-variety American Protestants.
For complicated reasons, the parents are not married and will not be getting married but the prospective father will be very involved in the life of his son. Thanks in advance for ignoring my mistakes in terminology or gaffes having to do with my ignorance of Judaism and Jewish culture; my brother and I are ordinary, garden-variety American Protestants.
Sorry, I meant the reply to be directed at your brother, not to you. Carry on!
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 3:52 PM on March 25, 2012
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 3:52 PM on March 25, 2012
(I am a father to Jewish kids but not the father to this Jewish kid.)
If the father wanted your brother to bow to Jewish tradition in any way, he would have asked. We don't expect non-Jews to know anything about Jewish tradition and we know to ask if we want something done in a Jewish way -- but we usually don't. I mean, we had non-Jewish friends hold the chuppah at our wedding, but we just said "here, hold this stick," and if we had wanted them to hold the stick in a Jewish way we would have given them explicit instructions.
So basically, don't sweat this.
And any gift is appropriate, apart from a ham hock or a crucifix.
posted by escabeche at 7:10 PM on March 25, 2012 [7 favorites]
If the father wanted your brother to bow to Jewish tradition in any way, he would have asked. We don't expect non-Jews to know anything about Jewish tradition and we know to ask if we want something done in a Jewish way -- but we usually don't. I mean, we had non-Jewish friends hold the chuppah at our wedding, but we just said "here, hold this stick," and if we had wanted them to hold the stick in a Jewish way we would have given them explicit instructions.
So basically, don't sweat this.
And any gift is appropriate, apart from a ham hock or a crucifix.
posted by escabeche at 7:10 PM on March 25, 2012 [7 favorites]
My first godparents were my grandfather's best friend (who was born in Naples) and his third wife, whose parents had been born in Norway and England. Neither of them were Jews.
I picked up "salute!" From Uncle Robert.
posted by brujita at 7:19 PM on March 25, 2012
I picked up "salute!" From Uncle Robert.
posted by brujita at 7:19 PM on March 25, 2012
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Whether or not you'll be the Sandak, you'll have an honored role in the life of this baby. As detailed in the first link, there are no formal expectations for Jewish godparents (other than potentially playing a role in the Brit Milah) so you should see yourself as a special adult in this child's life and think about what form you'd like that role to take.
It's also possible that your friend may be asking you to serve as the child's legal guardian should anything happen to him or the child's mother. This would entail some formal legal obligations as well as documentation, and you might want to ask your friend if this is what he had in mind.
Congratulations!
posted by foxy_hedgehog at 3:51 PM on March 25, 2012 [3 favorites]