Oh boundaries boundaries boundaries
March 21, 2012 6:41 AM Subscribe
Relationship filter: New guy. His former flame. Her very bad medical condition. Wondering how to control my anxieties.
posted by anonymous to human relations (17 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
Have been dating Mr. X for approximately a month. He is a wonderful guy and to the extent you can get to know somebody in that span of time, I trust him. When we first started talking he mentioned a former college girlfriend -- their relationship was very intense in a variety of ways -- with whom he'd made contact over the last year. About a year ago, they hooked up but it ended with a lot of hurt feelings.
She is now waiting a medical diagnosis that could mean death in a short period of time or loss of mobility. She is also making romantic advances towards Mr. X. As per him, his response has been to gently reject her, w/o mentioning that he is dating somebody else.
I am so sorry that Mr. X's former (and more recent) object of great passion is facing this. I am so sorry that he has to bear the worry of this. He is one of two people she's told about this; they are very close, obvsly.
I want to be as supportive as possible. I know what it's like to be scared shitless over a medical condition.
My question is: how can I best be supportive here and control the *clang* *clang* of my anxieties regarding their connection. I feel like a selfish cunt for even bringing up my anxieties, given her situation.