March 19, 2012 9:05 PM Subscribe
She needs to sleep early without any noise, mom and I need to use the kitchen which inevitably causes noise. Help!
posted by oceanview to human relations (35 answers total)
My mother and I live upstairs while my brother, his wife and newborn live downstairs.
Brother's wife, "Stacey" is a very light sleeper and at least 3 times a week, mom and I get a complaint call, on behalf of my brother, saying that we are being too loud in the kitchen which is directly above their bedroom. Mom and I try to be as quiet as mice, but Stacey still hears everything as she is a light sleeper.
I've just realized that the only way she won't hear noise is for Mom and I to not go in the kitchen, full stop. Stacey et al go to bed at 8:30pm. I usually go to bed at midnight, and will want some tea, snacks, etc from the kitchen between 8:30 and midnight. Mom works late and doesn't get home until 2am when she, of course, would like a cup of tea or a bite to eat after a long day of tiring work.
Is it a reasonable request for Stacey to effectively request that we not use the kitchen after 8:30pm? I feel like it really limits my freedom of moving about the house, not to mention my mom's, i.e. the house owner's--freedom. My mom is very passive and kind, and she is not one to put her foot down about something like this. I feel angry that Stacey and brother are more-or-less scolding Mom for using her own kitchen.
We live in a very expensive city and Stacey and brother are underemployed (I'm a student), so it would be difficult for them to pay to rent an apartment. Before she moved in with us, Stacey was living at her father's. He has a fair-sized house, so I don't see it being a problem if they moved there, but i don't know if Stacey is keen on that. As far as I know, she's never lived apart from a parent and doesn't realize that having "roommates" means putting up with noise from others.
Anyone have some solutions or perspective on how to address sis-in-law's noise complaints?