Nervous during sex
March 8, 2012 9:50 PM Subscribe
I get really nervous during (attempted) sex with new people. I feel like a nervous teenager. Help me get out of my own damn head!
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (16 answers total) 10 users marked this as a favorite
I'm male, straight, 27 years old.
Whenever I'm sort of "getting to know" a new partner, I have performance problems.
This has been mostly just a speed bump as far as relationships go (most girls are understanding and will work with me until I'm more comfortable), but I think it's keeping me from pursuing more frivolous sexual experiences, things which I'd like to be able to pursue should future opportunities arise.
Not only that, but I've been on a few dates with someone new recently, and I like this girl quite a bit so far. We have made out a little bit, and I think odds are that things will progress to sex very soon.
I'd really like to have a good FIRST sex experience with a partner for once. I'd really like to try, at least, both for myself and for her. It would be really fantastic if our first sexual encounter didn't end with me feeling apologetic and having to explain my performance anxiety issues.
I'm willing to accept that outcome, and I don't really fear that it will necessarily ruin things with this new girl, but I'd really like to try to avoid that outcome if possible.
It'd be cool to have a relatively smooth and seductive sex experience for once, you know? Or even just a fun little one night stand that I can remember fondly when I'm in old age.
I'm considering ED medication for the future, and I am currently taking Xanax, but any non-prescription methods would be quite welcome.
Any advice for helping me to stop worrying about it so much and just enjoy the moment, if and when that moment comes?