Would it dry?

July 9, 2005 2:28 PM

DisturbingQuestionFilter: Would it dry?

I am deeply sorry for the strange nature of this question and I can only guess about the damage this will do to my online reputation, but! Me and some friends discussed this and we were unable to reach an agreement.

Say you were having anal sex but with glue as a lubricant. Obviously not superglue, just the glue you use to glue paper. WOULD THE GLUE DRY. Would the escaping of air have any influence? Is the friction alone enough to make the glue dry?

God I hope my parents won't ever read this. Hi dad!

posted by Skyanth to science & nature (25 comments total)

Here's a simple experiment. Take some white glue or paper glue and put it on one hand. then rub your two hands together quickly. It won't really dry so much as it will gum up. Assume that a similar experience would transfer to sex. Go get yourself some KY and make everyone happy.
posted by furtive at 2:39 PM on July 9, 2005

I think the tears from baby Jesus would prevent drying.
posted by greasy_skillet at 2:42 PM on July 9, 2005

I'm just curious as to how you and your friends got on this topic. A booze filled evening?
posted by ericb at 2:42 PM on July 9, 2005

furtive is probably correct, but greasy_skillet definitely wins.
posted by ruddhist at 2:43 PM on July 9, 2005

Yes, now keep glue away from you anus. I've called your mother already.
posted by OmieWise at 2:51 PM on July 9, 2005

You should use the anal bum cover to keep it from drying.
posted by rolypolyman at 2:58 PM on July 9, 2005

Me and some friends discussed this and we were unable to reach an agreement.

yeah, O.K., right. hmm-hmm. and I subscribe to hotanalasiansluts.com for the poetry book reviews.

now call an ambulance, O.K.?
posted by matteo at 4:15 PM on July 9, 2005

You need to use a quickset two part epoxy, or surgical grade cyanoacrylate with an accelerator. Apply liberally.
posted by loquacious at 4:16 PM on July 9, 2005

If you used a lot of glue, you might have enough time to get the job done. And you will save your partner a lot of annoying pooping for the nex few days until s/he dies.
posted by Mayor Curley at 4:19 PM on July 9, 2005

Why not ask an expert?
posted by weapons-grade pandemonium at 4:22 PM on July 9, 2005

Yes. And when it did you'd have all those horrible little stringy dried-glue balls to deal with that are fun when peeling off your fingers but probably dramatically less so when attached to your rectum.

You'd have to be an idiot to use glue as a lubricant.
posted by schroedinger at 4:39 PM on July 9, 2005

Nah man, the glue doesnt dry. Its perfectly safe, and super glue works even better.
posted by pwally at 4:45 PM on July 9, 2005

You might also enjoy portland cement.
posted by b1tr0t at 4:59 PM on July 9, 2005

*blink*

Okay, I've heard of people using some awfully strange things as lube: car oil, Tiger Balm (I shit you not), hair gel, soap, and even mayonnaise (again, I'm not joking). And sure, in a pinch (and depending on necessity of condom usage, etc,) I've used whatever's been handy: skin lotion, aloe vera gel, etc.

But glue? No. One would think that using a substance for sticking things together in order to lubricate would not be, shall we say, the wisest of ideas.

I'd be willing to bet it wouldn't dry up, precisely--plain white glue is useless at sticking skin together--but would become gummy as pointed out above, not to mention causing serious rectal damage and/or irritation.
posted by dirtynumbangelboy at 5:30 PM on July 9, 2005

greasy_skillet wins.

I wonder, though, is there a subcategory of santorum that this would fit into?
posted by SpecialK at 5:36 PM on July 9, 2005

Elmer's santorum.
posted by ackptui at 6:09 PM on July 9, 2005

As long as he's looking over your shoulder right now, does your friend have anything to add?
posted by gimonca at 6:17 PM on July 9, 2005

We need a Senator to name this ensuing mixture after.
posted by sourwookie at 6:31 PM on July 9, 2005

You ever leave the twist-cap open on a bottle of Elmer's? You know how awfully frustrating it is to get the glue out after that? You basically have to bite down on the twist-cap to rip it off the bottle, then have at it with toothpicks to get the dried-out glue out of the cap, and then do the same for the screw-top plus rinse it out with water, and then hope that you didn't damage it all so badly that you can't reassemble the bottle.

I hate it when that happens.
posted by five fresh fish at 10:26 PM on July 9, 2005

Why the hell would you try to use glue as a lubricant? I've had some fucked-up discussions with my friends at various times, but this makes me feel almost normal. Truly, the mind reels. But I hope that you will report on the experiment if it ever happens.

As to answering the question, I agree that it would not dry up while any activity was being performed, but possibly would dry up afterwards, at least slightly. In any case, would be very unpleasant to remove completely from the cavity. Oh, can't believe that I'm even thinking of this.
posted by keijo at 11:08 PM on July 9, 2005

Haha. Sorry to disappoint (although in a way it's nice to think I still can after making a thread like this), but no glue went near any orifice at all and all of this was purely hypothetical.

As to why we came to this question, well you know. You have some beers, someone says something, someone else replies and before you know it six people are sincerely discussing a subject that leads to certain social death.

But okay, seems those of you who bothered to answer the question think it wouldn't dry. For what it's worth, thanks! Now let's please all forget anyone ever asked, mmmkay?
posted by Skyanth at 11:48 PM on July 9, 2005

AskMetafilter: sincerely discussing a subject that leads to certain social death.
posted by loquacious at 11:53 PM on July 9, 2005

Ask MetaFilter: purely hypothetical
posted by grouse at 2:10 AM on July 10, 2005

Just don't use Dermasage. Made that mistake once. LOL! But oh, the memories of that encounter are amongst my fondest. (a pair of southern boys, a year or two older than my 16-year-old self).
posted by Goofyy at 10:14 PM on July 10, 2005

Marked best answer!

*dies happy*

(I love ask metafilter)
posted by Space Kitty at 1:35 PM on July 11, 2005