script for dealing with rude comments about weight?
March 2, 2012 12:59 PM Subscribe
I need a verbal and behavioral script to work from. I've experienced some recent weight gain. A relative will soon be visiting our home. Based on past experiences, I expect that he will comment on, judge, and offer advice about my weight. Please help me out.
posted by anonymous to human relations (55 answers total) 12 users marked this as a favorite
Regarding the past experience thing: I don't want to go into detail, but please just trust me that the likelihood that he'll say something about my weight is very high.
I saw a recent question that was similar but not quite what I'm talking about. I would appreciate a few prepackaged phrases, or script of what to say or not say, and what to do or not to do in order to get this person to drop it.
This relative will be in my home, and I will also see him at other relatives' homes where we'll both be guests. I do not want to discuss my weight or "health" or the size and shape of my body.
He's extremely healthy and fit and always has been. He's a great person - kind, intelligent, generous, etc., but he's always been sanctimonious about food, exercise, and health. If he was just an all around asshole or was actively being MEAN about things, I wouldn't have anything to do with him, and wouldn't have him in my home. But that's not the case.
I like other answers I've seen here where the format is "if you continue to X, I will Y" where Y is usually "leave" or "hang up the phone." However, in this case, I will be in the position of having to kick the person out of my home instead of leaving - I don't think this calls for that. Or does it? How would I even do that? Also, when we are at a 3rd party's home, it's not fair to that person that I'm leaving their gathering.
If I literally say nothing, I really think he'll just keep talking, or think I'm listening and absorbing his message. I don't want that. I just don't want to hear it - AT ALL.
Unfortunately, he's also the kind of person who will try to overcome every objection. Like if I simply say, "This is none of your business and I will not discuss it," he'll say, "But it IS my business because your HEALTH blah blah blah."