We are not friends anymore. STOP CALLING! also don't murder me in my sleep.
February 15, 2012 5:51 AM Subscribe
A former acquaintance (non-close friend) from college continues to contact me regularly despite me ignoring his calls for almost a year. He calls me about once a week and occasionally he will call in bunches. He has probably called 40-50 times in about 9 months. The fact that he has persisted this long is freaking me out a bit. Should I just tell him to stop contacting me or has it gone beyond that?
More below. I’m a man btw.
posted by Ommcc to human relations (34 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
I dislike this person and do not want to associate with him. There was no major event or falling out between us; I simply dislike him as a person. I was able to tolerated him for the first few years I knew him but he became intolerable.
My opinion on him is shared by everyone I know that also knows him. However I am only person getting frequent phone calls.
Despite not liking him I did on rare occasion hang out with him even after our other mutual peers stopped. I did this out of a sense of obligation but mainly I want to, as socially inept person myself, show some empathy. I often was lonely in college and could not help but think he was even more so. But there was no relating to him as he was/is an arrogant, self-obsessed ass with extremely bigoted and sexist views and seemed to completely disregard what other thought of his actions. We never had a conversation or moment that would indicate he thought of me a close friend or confidant. I don't even know why he ever wanted to talk with me as he never was interested in my life nor did he ever tell me anything about himself that wasn't clearly a fantastical lie. He was mostly interest in my love life and the love life others we knew and I was a dry well to tap for that information/gossip.
The last time we saw each other was about 2 ½ or 3 years ago and probably a year before that. I did not have any contact with him for about a year after the last time I had seen him (I ignored a few calls) until I stupidly answered his call without checking the caller ID (I was driving). During the call he mentioned he would be in town for Cinco De Mayo, which was a long way off from this conversation, and ask if I wanted to get together for drinks. Spinelessly, I agreed.
That was the last time I talked to him. I ignored the calls and messages in the several months between talking to him and Cinco de Mayo. And ignored the several calls I got on the days before and on Cinco de Mayo. After a few weeks of no calls, the calls started coming in consistently. He has been calling about once a week, sometimes the calls come in bunches (3 - 5 times in a day or two). Also I am 99% confidant he sometimes calls from a block number, when a cluster of calls come from him generally one will be from a blocked number. Since I rarely ever get calls from blocked numbers I assume it is him. He has never left a voice mail.
Clearly I should have told this guy I no longer want to him to contact me in any form long ago but there is no way he thinks I want anything to do with him after not answering or returning his calls for this long, right? The fact that he has persisted this long is freaking me out a bit.
Am I just continuing to be a wimp about telling a person I no longer want them to be in my life or is this act of a crazy person that I need to worry about?