(possible) smoker roommate
February 11, 2012 2:39 PM Subscribe
One of my roommates thinks the other has started smoking in our non-smoking apartment. How do I handle this in the least dramatic way possible?
posted by anonymous to human relations (17 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My roommates and I are women in our twenties, all attending graduate school full-time. I've been in the apartment the longest, one of them (let's call her X) has been here two years, and the third (Y) moved in last year.
Recently, Y told me she has smelt smoke from X's room. This by itself was surprising, since I've lived with X for all this time without pegging her a smoker. But I tend to be a bit oblivious about this stuff, and I've also been away a lot, so it's possible Y is right. What made me really uncomfortable is that Y told me this right outside X's room while she was inside. She definitely heard us, and I really hate talking about someone behind their back, especially when they're right there!
I don't know Y very well, but the smoking issue seems to bother her a lot. In any case, we're violating our lease by smoking inside, so if it's happening, it needs to stop. Y is also a lot cleaner and a bit more socially open than X, who tends to blow off her cleaning duties, leaves dishes out, and mostly recluses herself in her room with the door shut. (She's quite sweet when she does come out, though.)
Since I'm not the one who suspects X of smoking, I want to stay out of it and let Y talk to her. How do I tell Y that? Or should I get involved somehow? Should I say anything to X about how we were talking about her, given that she surely heard? I'm pretty non-confrontational, but I prefer to hash out problems directly rather than weaseling behind someone's back, so this is an uneasy situation for me.