Nice, non-psychotic, anal-retentive, seeks similar.
February 6, 2012 6:43 PM Subscribe
I am 27 and male. I've lived in shared housing my entire adult life: dorms, rented rooms, group houses, shared apartments. I want to finally live like an adult.™ How?
posted by anonymous to human relations (27 answers total) 13 users marked this as a favorite
Let me put it this way: I'm not exactly fresh out of college. I want to have nice things: a couple pieces of nice furniture, a set of quality kitchen knives, framed prints, mementos, decorative things. I want to live in a place I'm happy to call home.
I live in a relatively expensive city, have an inflexible work situation, and live on a moderate salary. I'm not at a place where I can rent by myself without making substantial sacrifices.
My problem is that a lot of male people my age who are still single and live in shared spaces seem to be "fresh out of college" permanently. Even the ones who are polite, considerate, and mean perfectly well don't always treat their belongings and homes with respect. I've tried explaining "nice things" to my current roommate (who is an admirable and positive person in many, many ways), and he looked at me like I had three heads.
Credit it to gay stereotypes or my working-class upbringing, but I just like to be a lot neater than a lot of my peers, and take more care of my belongings. I'm tired of arranging clothes in piles and keeping possessions in boxes. A lot of my past and prospective future roommates are not. I like to wash dishes as soon as I'm done using them. They often let them sit in the sink. I like to clean proactively. They typically let dust and dirt accumulate.
I'm not interested in judging, I'm just tired of compromising, tired of having to clean after others if I want things to be clean, tired of watching common areas deteriorate, tired of living spaces that look makeshift and uninhabited. What steps can I take to bring myself closer to living the life I want?
The best-maintained house I've ever lived in was one I shared with a young couple. It was very nice, but occasionally socially awkward.
Many of my peers (i.e., ones whose living arrangements I acutely envy) rent with their long-term partners. I'm single and not actively looking to change that.
Renting alone would place a significant financial burden on me. Some of my friends do this, but I have certain additional expenses and obligations that put this option a bit out of reach. My financial situation is unlikely to improve in the near term. In fact, if I start graduate school, my finances will take a dramatic nosedive.
So, how do I find those unicorns? Are graduate students likelier to be neat and domestic? Female roommates? Older roommates? Should I just rent a studio in some very remote (but cheaper) suburb and treble my commuting time?