Breakup a <1 yr relationship that's been rocky?
February 6, 2012 5:35 PM Subscribe
My girlfriend and I had a rocky start to our relationship. Broke up, got back together. Our day to day is fine but we've had huge, rude fights in the past. I'm at a crossroads now.
posted by blizkreeg to human relations (19 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My gf and I started seeing each other last march. In our first couple of months, we had a huge fight which led to me chasing her for three days and even meeting her parents to convince them to talk to her. The next 2-3 mos were okay on a daily basis but we developed such misunderstanding over things that I broke up with her four months in. She said some very nasty things about my sister and family and I couldn't take it.
While we were on a break, she moved closer to where I live and somehow we ended up seeing each other again late last year. During our break, she would also constantly text me and gave me a lot of guilt over why I broke up. Without going into details, I want to say our families were involved in this too and everyone knows everything that went wrong.
After we got back together, we decided to develop a better understanding and things seemed okay for a while until she once again said some bad things about my folks out of frustration. She is a great person in general but has a personality that can be aggressive or thorny at times. I'm a fairly mild mannered and docile person on the other hand. She cares for me a lot, she loves me deeply, and thinks of my happiness a lot.
I care for her too but I don't feel in love with her (perhaps because of all that has happened in the past). This coupled with the fact that my parents are staunchly against her and us has really affected me to a point where I'm thinking of breaking up once and for all. I feel like I'm just dragging this along and not doing anyone any good, including her.
She is having a really hard time with this and doesn't want me to end it. She is willing to do whatever it takes and give it time. She is literally ready to go to the ends of the earth for this. I don't have the same level of feeling but I worry somewhere that I'm giving up on someone who is ready to do almost anything to save it.
I know I've said some negative things about her but I know in my heart she's a good person but acted out extremely at times. In spite of knowing this, I don't know why I'm not making any effort from the heart. I try to reason myself into it but I know it's not really the right way to go ahead into a serious relationship.
I wish to give her all the love she deserves. Our day to day is argument-free but I know I don't do nearly enough and when I do it's not from the heart truly truly. She is happy with what she has and just wants me in her life at any cost. She just knows I'm the one.
Am I just quitting prematurely? Or is all this drama part and parcel of real life relationships and one should just stick through with it and hope for the day when you've found bliss in the relationship?