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February 4, 2012 12:44 PM   Subscribe

Hi all. Definite TMI/physical intimacy question pertaining to matters of the backside and heterosexual male turn-ons. Details after the jump!

So, my s.o. and I have been together for almost a year; physical intimacy began 8 months ago. Background: I'm a chick near 30 and he's a dude mid-40s. We have crazy schedules and a partial-distance issue and appreciate time together when we can; don't have the opportunity to be physical as often as we'd like. He's very generous, considerate, and talented. We're relatively well-matched regarding the area of sexual experience and enjoy each other immensely in bed. I walk the fence between being a little kinky and not so much; he's been much more open to experimentation than even he was expecting. We also watch a lot of porn/send dirty texts/share pictures.

So we're rolling around naked the other day having a grand old time, and we're getting some mutual oral action on and he decides to eat out my derriere. Now, I have a strict "no-insertion, but everything else is a-okay near the butt" policy, and he's aware of it. But this was a first for us, and a complete first for me. I paused in surprise; but, it was actually pretty hot. So, my questions are:

What do guys generally think about giving a rimjob? As in, is it pleasurable to be a giver, or is it more about the partner's reaction?
Is this a turn-on for him, or was he thinking it would be a turn-on for me, or both?
Also, is this something I should offer to do for him?
That would also be a first for me, but I really get off on the idea of driving him crazy, and he LOVES touch and kisses of all sorts; he's a very physical person. Thanks in advance!
posted by anonymous to Sports, Hobbies, & Recreation (6 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
 
This falls into the category of "questions one best poses directly to one's partner, who may even find being asked kind of exciting, if it's done in the right way, as opposed to asking for generalizations from strangers." Biggish category.
posted by Clyde Mnestra at 12:49 PM on February 4, 2012 [17 favorites]


i've known a lot of men who like giving rimjobs. i've known even more men who like to receive rim jobs.

As in, is it pleasurable to be a giver, or is it more about the partner's reaction?
these aren't mutually exclusive. when i go down on someone i love their reaction just as much or more than i love all the other physical sensations.

as clyde says, the only way you'll know is to ask.
posted by nadawi at 12:58 PM on February 4, 2012 [2 favorites]


As in, is it pleasurable to be a giver, or is it more about the partner's reaction?

I get pleasure out of giving pleasure. If my lady friend wanted me to toss her salad, I'd do it. My current lady friend loved sucking on my nipples. She goes to town on them all the time. But my man nipples aren't sensitive at all and it doesn't get me off in the slightest. She enjoys it. I enjoy when she's having a good time. Win-win.

Another thing to remember is a lot of people do things in the sack for reciprocity. If he spends a lot of time rimming you, he might be saying he'd like that, too. My novia has very sensitive nipples and I spend a lot of time giving them attention because I derived that she liked sucking on my nipples. We could have talked about it, but it was funner to explore this territory on our own.

Regarding rim jobs: I'm an atypical hetero male that isn't into buttplay. If my partner wants a tongue/finger/dick in her butthole she has to ask for it (either verbally or with hints). If your dude wants to eat your ass it is because he likes eating ass to give you pleasure (and thus receiving pleasure from your pleasure) and/or he wants a rim job too.

Really, asking him is much better than advice from strangers on the internet. Talking about sex with your partner seems to be a thing a lot of people don't do but should do.
posted by birdherder at 1:47 PM on February 4, 2012 [1 favorite]


If your dude wants to eat your ass it is because he likes eating ass to give you pleasure (and thus receiving pleasure from your pleasure) and/or he wants a rim job too.

Yeah, this is most likely but the reality is you'll just have to ask him to find out for sure.
posted by mleigh at 1:55 PM on February 4, 2012


All of these are possible, though it's highly likely that rimming and giving you that pleasure you turns him on.
posted by Mercaptan at 3:59 PM on February 4, 2012


One doesn't give a rimjob unless one particularly enjoys giving pleasure. He's likely to be receptive to the same, but you'll have to ask to find out if its something he particularly wants from you. fwiw, I'm a hetero male that has enjoyed giving and receiving rj's. Make the most of it. Having a sexually adventurous relationship is great fun.
posted by bigZLiLk at 9:44 PM on February 4, 2012


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