Whats the proper way to let a guy know he won't be getting any?
January 14, 2012 7:39 PM Subscribe
I'm a girl. You're a guy. We're making out, but we won't be doing anything past that tonight. How do I let you know that so you don't feel like I'm leading you on? Or do I let you know at all?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (25 answers total) 11 users marked this as a favorite
This has happened a couple of times in the last few months (yay single life!), and both times I wasn't sure what to say.
Making out heavily with a guy I like a lot and started dating a few dates ago. I'm not ready to get any kind of naked, and I know how much it sucks to get all turned on and hope that sex will happen, and then be disappointed, so I blurt out "I'm not gonna sleep with you yet because I don't know you well enough yet, although I'm sure it'd be amazing" And then I felt silly for saying that. Should I not have said anything and just moved his hand away if he started trying to take it further? This scenario is simpler because we liked each other and it didn't matter much what I blurted out, but what would you, as a guy, prefer?
Making out a little with a guy I just met that same night. Roommates and I invited him and his friends (both guys and girls) over when we were leaving the bar. They were friends with a mutual friend so we're not inviting total strangers over, so no need to comment on whether this is a safe decision, just in case any of you are concerned. Anyway, I have no intentions of seeing this guy again, but dancing and making out is fun, so I'd like to keep kissing. But again, definitely don't want to take it further with someone I don't know at all. Guy says "is there anywhere we can go to make out?" I say something like, "no that's ok, let's just stay here" because I didn't want to just take him to my room, but then my roommates came back into the living room and the making out stopped, eventually him and his friends leave. Should I have said "well let's go make out in my room but all our clothes stay on"? Or should we have just went to my room to make out and then stopped his advances when he tried to go further? I know he's there for just a hook up, so I want to be upfront about it and give him the chance to leave if he doesnt want blue balls and doesn't want to feel like he's in high school all over again, but at the same time I would've loved to keep making out, if he was up for it. I'm also ok with him saying "no thanks" to just kissing, or him saying he has to go once he realizes he's not getting any (the most likely scenarios). But what is the best way to handle that situation, and to possibly maximize my chances of the guy being ok with just making out? I know it depends on the guy, not what I say, but still would like to know the best way to warn the guy when we're late 20's/early 30's and sex is pretty much expected during a casual hook up?