"Gee, I'm SO glad I'm not single!"
January 10, 2012 9:29 PM Subscribe
how can I project some more confidence about being single? I'm tired of people feeling sorry for me.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (25 answers total) 18 users marked this as a favorite
I'm an early - mid thirties woman in a major city. I am not crying in my cereal every day in my singleness, but I would really like to be in a relationship and want this to be my year. I haven't been in a serious relationship in years and years, and have been online dating somewhat seriously for the last year or so. I've been on three dates already this year.
I'm pretty gregarious and I've talked about my dates with people, especially the sillier/more disastrous ones, because people seem to enjoy the stories and also because I want to project that I'm fine being single. I want to do this because it seems to invite pity pretty quickly that people know I'm single. Most of my friends are married and some are having kids. I make friends easily, but they all seem to be in relationships or get relationships quickly, so I have few if any single people to relate to. I don't feel like I should tell these dating stories, even if people enjoy them, because people end up saying things like, "I don't envy you!" " Wow, I'm so glad I'm not out there!" etc. This makes me feel terrible. I'd never say something like this to someone looking for a job, for example. However, before I told the stories, people would assume I'm not dating and say, "You'll find someone" or "Don't be so down, but I'm glad I'm not out there! My single friends say crazy stuff!" So it's the same thing. I just want to know what to say about dating, and whether I should talk about it or not, so that people can stop telling me how much they pity me. Maybe I'm projecting some sort of sadness about the dating, even though I'm like, trying to show that I'm positive and out there and trying.
Does anyone have any good tips, or anything that works for them?