You put Your Whole Self In, You Put Your Whole Self Out, You Put Your Whole Self In and Shake It All About
December 22, 2011 5:02 PM Subscribe
After 25 years of marriage, I find myself on the cusp between a loving commitment based on radical acceptance of the other just as they are, and unfulfilled needs on multiple levels. From your own marital experience are these two mutually exclusive?
posted by Xurando to human relations (28 answers total) 16 users marked this as a favorite
I find myself torn between marriage being about love and commitment and my multiple unmet needs of a sexual, physical, and emotional nature that my spouse is unable or unwilling to address. I have set a bottom line for the myself that my spouse is cognizant of (no screaming or shaming) and am aware of what she/he/it requires from the marriage. Is it possible to have both while living with a person that has no ability to meet these needs or should I give it up and plunge back into love and radical acceptance?
Two caveats: Therapy is not an option ( its been tried tho we could do a marriage encounter thing). I am not talking about plunging into infidelity or adultery and do not want to hurt my spouse as I explore this process. I take the "sickness and in health" thing seriously.