Can someone act rude out of awkwardness?
December 20, 2011 8:25 PM Subscribe
Went out to see a movie with a friend, and his behavior confused me tremendously.
posted by 01080591 to human relations (32 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
(If anyone wants a little context, feel free to check out my previous question).
So I have been spending some time with a male friend that I occasionally get intimate with (hooking up, sleeping in the same bed...stereotypical FWB. Don't know if this information matters but I'll put it out there for reference), and recently we met up to see a movie. On our way to our particular theatre, I found him intensely checking out another woman, which was fine by me. It was very obvious, and the woman smiled back, being a little flirty and all that. I didn't make a comment because it wasn't my business, but then he made a point to tell me he was staring in her direction because "she looked very familiar". I acknowledged that and we proceeded to see the movie.
On the way out, the exact same thing happened again, this time with another woman who was accompanied by her husband. Once again I felt no need to make a comment, and yet again he was compelled to give a half-assed reason for his staring, and waited to see what I had to say. This was when I felt truly confounded. I had shown no signs of jealousy, and having a brother and other male friends I understand perfectly when men stare at attractive women (and vice versa), it's just what people do. So why does this guy have to constantly be vocal and make blatant excuses for his behavior, thus making something that is otherwise insignificant very awkward? (I must point out that this had already occurred once before in the recent past, at another occasion.)
I'm very curious as to what his behavior was all about. My female friends said that perhaps that was his (awful) way of rousing jealousy out of me in order to test the waters to see if I like him more than a friend. That to me sounds incredibly immature and plain silly. My impression is that this guy is just an incredibly awkward person, but I really have no telling.
So I guess my question is: can social awkwardness be a good explanation for his superfluous excuses for simply "eye-fucking" other women around a female friend? Having typed all of this and reading it over, I realize my question errs on the petty side, but I am genuinely curious to know what motivated him to act the way he did. Thanks!