What to give someone who has everything + a great home in paradise?

December 18, 2011 3:49 PM

What is an appropriate thank you gift for a friend who let my boyfriend and me stay at his summer home in Key West for a week?

We'll be taking him out to a steak dinner in a couple of weeks but I feel that's not enough. He spends most holidays and time off in Key West. Would a gift certificate to his favorite restaurant in KW be a good idea?
Part of my dilemma here is that I feel we need to spend ~$500 on a gift for him since that's the equivalent of a hotel stay yet spending all that on one restaurant gift certificate feels a little ridiculous. The other part is that he has everything he wants.
Any creative and practical ideas welcome.

posted by KB.Boston_implant.By way of NY to Human Relations (11 answers total)

Best answer: Why does it need to be as expensive as the equivalent of the thing he provided? I've regularly put my friends up when they're in town and never received, nor asked for, any gift beyond a bottle of wine or their treat to a dinner out, or the like. And he wasn't even put out as a host because he wasn't there, assuming I read your question correctly. This was a favor between friends, not a financial exchange for which he has to be made whole.
posted by Tomorrowful at 3:54 PM on December 18, 2011 [6 favorites]

Dinner is fine I think. Nothing too fancy, he might not invite you again ;)
posted by carter at 4:04 PM on December 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Yeah, trying to compensate him with $500 worth of thank you gift is unnecessary (and excessive enough to make him feel uncomfortable, if he is anything like me). I would just go with the dinner and a nice bottle of wine.
posted by J. Wilson at 4:04 PM on December 18, 2011 [2 favorites]

I definitely don't think it should be the equivalent of what the cost of a hotel would have been... that's kind of missing the point, isn't it? Did HE have to stay in a hotel because of you? He did you a favor, saved you a bunch of money, and you had a great time, but unless it was an inconvenience to him somehow, a steak dinner and a nice bottle of his favorite gin/scotch/bubbly would definitely suffice, I think.
posted by two lights above the sea at 4:05 PM on December 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Was there anything lacking in the kitchen? Any appliance, a good set of knives, a stand mixer? Anything he can actually use in the home would be welcome. We have a family place in Quebec and over the years guest have given us gifts like that and they're always awesome to have. Now, whenever we use the mixer we think of the great summer we spent with a certain couple, the BBQ utensil set reminds us of another, etc.

And as others have said, you don't need to spend that much to say thank you.
posted by bondcliff at 4:18 PM on December 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Wineglasses. We can almost never get decent wineglasses down here.
posted by halfbuckaroo at 4:44 PM on December 18, 2011 [1 favorite]

Best answer: Food and wine, luxury treats they might not get for themselves or specialty must try items and experiences you can introduce them to. Dean & Deluca, Mackenzie, Neiman Marcus, Godiva, Williams-Sonoma, I could go on and on. Have they ever had dark chocolate covered caramels with fleur de sel or those divine thin chocolate and peppermint cookies? I recently introduce a bunch of people to the whole notion of salt and sweet.
Do they like caviar or salmon or like good wine? Even people who really do will resist spending on it.
They've had key lime pie, but have they had key lime silk cake? Are they cheese fans? Think of what they like and think of what they might not have tried and treat them to an experience.
Or maybe they just don't have to do more than reheat an excellent duck dinner or hors d'oeuvres for a night.
And if they like to cook as well as eat, there are tons of fine ingredients and kitchenware to splurge on.
If you want to go spendy, I have all sorts of recommendations. Those new strawberry parfait chocolates at Godiva are not to be missed.
I agree, the amount of money is not important, it's the consideration of the gift that they will truly enjoy. High quality sheets, gourmet ice creams, well designed sex toys-- they're your friends, what are they into?
There use to be this excellent catalog of fine movies and ready for the oven food from those movies. Sigh.
Then there are house items, since you know the house. Is there a niche lacking an objet d'art? Could they use an innovative lighting fixture?
My god, i could go on.
posted by provoliminal at 5:36 PM on December 18, 2011

Dinner is a totally standard "thanks for letting me stay" gift.
posted by Ragged Richard at 5:36 PM on December 18, 2011

Agree, a nice dinner should be sufficient. If you still feel terribly guilty, having some wineglasses shipped to the vacation home (when you know he'll be there) seems like a nice touch.
posted by maryr at 8:43 AM on December 19, 2011

I agree with everyone here, buying a gift equivalent to what it would have cost you to stay elsewhere is kind of bizarre. However, I do understand wanting to do something generous to show appreciation. Buying something the host could use at the house is good, a good blender, a fancy wooden salad bowl, but don't go overboard and don't buy just to buy. Keep the host in mind and get him something you think he'd like and would actually use. A couple of good bottles of wine or a case of everyday wine if he's a wine drinker.
posted by shoesietart at 9:19 AM on December 19, 2011

Response by poster: Thank you all for the suggestions. I was raised in a mix of cultures and hence my struggle with doing what is appropriate for the circumstance and not being out of line.
posted by KB.Boston_implant.By way of NY at 12:02 PM on December 22, 2011