Celebrating my parents' anniversary
December 13, 2011 8:40 PM Subscribe
How should I acknowledge my (awesome) parents' wedding anniversary? I want to do better than signing my name to a card.
I'm twenty-something, and my parents have been married much longer. They're quite happy together and we all have a good relationship. :) Their upcoming anniversary (in late December) isn't a big one, but I've never known what to do/say and want to learn.
Previously, on their 30th and 35th, Younger Brother and I sent a ginormous floral bouquet. Mom was delighted, probably just because we remembered. Dad was, as always, harder to read, but basically pleased that SHE was pleased.
We're not a huge gift-giving family, but if you have a modest gift idea, that's great. Anything more than $75 would be out-of-character for us and kind of crazy. I won't be in town for the actual day, but YB and I will both be around briefly for the holidays, so we could take them out to dinner/*insert whatever* in a timely way. Honestly, what I think they'd both like most of all is more time together, but that's impossible for us kids to arrange. Damn you, parental work schedules.
I'm more looking for what to say in a card. My actual thoughts are this: they're great parents who did and still do love me, and their relationship is a model for everything I want in a life-long partnership. OK, I haven't *found* that partnership yet, but their example has probably saved me from a number of ill-advised relationships.
The truth is, I feel awkward discussing my parents' relationship. We're all quite private about romance and sex. (Especially as regards my parents, oh God.) But... this is a special day for them, and I want to be a good daughter. Help?
I'm twenty-something, and my parents have been married much longer. They're quite happy together and we all have a good relationship. :) Their upcoming anniversary (in late December) isn't a big one, but I've never known what to do/say and want to learn.
Previously, on their 30th and 35th, Younger Brother and I sent a ginormous floral bouquet. Mom was delighted, probably just because we remembered. Dad was, as always, harder to read, but basically pleased that SHE was pleased.
We're not a huge gift-giving family, but if you have a modest gift idea, that's great. Anything more than $75 would be out-of-character for us and kind of crazy. I won't be in town for the actual day, but YB and I will both be around briefly for the holidays, so we could take them out to dinner/*insert whatever* in a timely way. Honestly, what I think they'd both like most of all is more time together, but that's impossible for us kids to arrange. Damn you, parental work schedules.
I'm more looking for what to say in a card. My actual thoughts are this: they're great parents who did and still do love me, and their relationship is a model for everything I want in a life-long partnership. OK, I haven't *found* that partnership yet, but their example has probably saved me from a number of ill-advised relationships.
The truth is, I feel awkward discussing my parents' relationship. We're all quite private about romance and sex. (Especially as regards my parents, oh God.) But... this is a special day for them, and I want to be a good daughter. Help?
Arrange for them to have dinner at the best restaurant in their area (or at their favorite place). Have champagne delivered to their table and they get up and leave after dessert and never see the bill. You can arrange for this when you make the reservation.
posted by shoesietart at 9:14 PM on December 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by shoesietart at 9:14 PM on December 13, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm more looking for what to say in a card. My actual thoughts are this: they're great parents who did and still do love me, and their relationship is a model for everything I want in a life-long partnership.
Write that. Tell them how blessed you were to be born to them, what wonderful parents they are, and how they've taught you to work towards a similarly wonderful relationship with your future spouse.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 9:38 PM on December 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Write that. Tell them how blessed you were to be born to them, what wonderful parents they are, and how they've taught you to work towards a similarly wonderful relationship with your future spouse.
posted by malibustacey9999 at 9:38 PM on December 13, 2011 [3 favorites]
Arrange for them to have dinner at the best restaurant in their area (or at their favorite place). Have champagne delivered to their table and they get up and leave after dessert and never see the bill. You can arrange for this when you make the reservation.
I can't imagine that is going to work out for under $75. But you could buy a nice bottle of champagne for them to enjoy together when they are alone.
posted by lollusc at 12:28 AM on December 14, 2011
I can't imagine that is going to work out for under $75. But you could buy a nice bottle of champagne for them to enjoy together when they are alone.
posted by lollusc at 12:28 AM on December 14, 2011
My sister and I (early thirties these days) do things like send them a bottle of champagne wherever they're having dinner, send them to dinner, send them to a fancy hotel for the night, get them tickets to a show. Something fun and/or romantic. I think they've liked all that. What about the two of you taking them out to dinner or a concert while you're home? My parents 50th is coming up this year and my sister and I have been saving for 5 years in an ING account to send them on a fancy trip. Instead they want us (and our spouses) to all share the money and go someplace closer to home together. So that's what we're planning to do.
Re what to say... I think my parents (any parents?) would be thrilled beyond words to be told exactly what you wrote here. That would be too gushy for a card in my family but could be said over dinner. Perfect for a toast!
posted by n'muakolo at 1:11 AM on December 14, 2011
Re what to say... I think my parents (any parents?) would be thrilled beyond words to be told exactly what you wrote here. That would be too gushy for a card in my family but could be said over dinner. Perfect for a toast!
posted by n'muakolo at 1:11 AM on December 14, 2011
A variation on the photo theme: My brothers and I scanned the best old photos from the family archives and got them printed into a photo album. We used Apple photo books through iPhoto, which was great quality, but there are others. The book was divided into sections - them dating, a few wedding photos, each of the babies, holidays, graduations of the family, Christmases etc. We wrote little captions too, which you could use to convey your message.
posted by hannahlambda at 2:37 AM on December 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by hannahlambda at 2:37 AM on December 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Get a really nice scrapbook --- the kind with add-able pages is best. Get each of your parents' friends and relatives to each decorate one page, preferably including their favorite memories of doing something with your parents and/or saying what your parents mean to them. Encourage a variety of decorations: decoupage, ribbons, painting, old photos etc. Collect all those different pages into the scrapbook, and voila! You and Younger Sibling are now the most thoughtfull kids any parent could ever have.
(n'muakolo: I feel your pain: for my own parents' 50th, we tried to send them on a dream cruise, and the honeymoon they never had.... they refused anything more than a family picnic in a local park!)
posted by easily confused at 8:39 AM on December 14, 2011
(n'muakolo: I feel your pain: for my own parents' 50th, we tried to send them on a dream cruise, and the honeymoon they never had.... they refused anything more than a family picnic in a local park!)
posted by easily confused at 8:39 AM on December 14, 2011
The scrapbook thing went over great with my in-laws. For their 50th, my DH found a piece of white quartz about the size of a brick, and he chipped linked wedding rings and their marriage date, then painted it with gold. They have it in their entry way. One year we hit lots of thrift shops and dug up old records and movies to give them dating from their wedding year. For one celebration, a sis-in-law did an embroidery piece with their names and wedding date which she framed. Another sis-in-law researched fun things for On This Day for every year of their marriage and presented the information to them in a book with pictures, quotes, fun news stuff, etc. One of their favorite evenings was when all the kids cooked and served them a candlelight dinner consisting of what they ate at their wedding supper.
posted by BlueHorse at 9:10 PM on December 14, 2011
posted by BlueHorse at 9:10 PM on December 14, 2011
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posted by carmicha at 9:05 PM on December 13, 2011 [1 favorite]