Would you prefer I start shouting?

December 7, 2011 11:59 AM

Others describe me as "quiet". Is there something wrong with how I interact with others?

I'm an introvert. As a younger person (during my teen years; I'm 23 now), I was very shy and even experienced a lot of anxiety and nervousness around socializing and social events. However, these days I no longer experience those issues at all. Although I'm not an outgoing person, I often really enjoy talking to strangers and learning things about their lives. I rarely have issues with others. I work a very social job in a hospital ER, and I am able to get along with all my coworkers, though I have become close with none. I also talk to strangers in emotionally wrought situations all day long, and it honestly doesn't phase me. I feel like I have a knack for it, and from my perspective it seems like the patients and their families respond really positively to me. I'm also lucky to be getting married in 6 months-ish, so I don't really seem to have issues maintaining close long term relationships.

My issue is that people (mainly coworkers) tell me I'm "so quiet". They usually say this in a tone like that's a problem or they want me to explain why. People will also sometimes say things to the affect that I am "timid" or "too nice". I don't feel quiet. I don't feel timid or scared (in fact, I think I'm braver than most people; I'm training to become a paramedic and will give just about anything a shot once). It's true I'm not much of a small talker myself, although I don't mind listening to other people at all. My fiance says everything I say tends to be "short and to the point". I don't think he means that I'm abrupt or rude, but rather that I just say what I mean directly without a lot of excess detail surrounding it (or at least that's how I feel like I am). It's also true I don't make friends very easily. While I've never had a problem finding a boyfriend, and as I've said before I can get along with most everyone, I become close with very few people and it takes me a very long time to get there. I try to be really friendly and nice, so I don't thinking people perceive my "quietness" as aloofness or dislike of them (but of course I don't really know what they think). I have some significant abuse in my childhood, so I do think I have a naturally skeptical or slightly mistrusting nature, but at the same time I really try to give other people the benefit of the doubt.

I don't have any issues with the way I am. I really love my life and am grateful for what I have. But it bothers me when people tell me I'm quiet. I generally try not to be overly concerned with what other people think of me, but this one comes up recurrently, and I'm honestly not sure if it's my problem or theirs. I go through my days feeling normal and happy and very engaged with the world and the people I meet, and then someone tells me I'm "so quiet", and it makes me feel like I'm not as engaged as I thought or I'm experiencing life in a lesser way. I also worry that this perception of me will affect my career in the future, because coworkers and potential employers may think I'm shy or timid (for clarification, I have not had issues with this yet; I have had an unusual level of success in finding decent employment and have yet to get a bad review from a manager).

I know there are a lot of other introverted mefites. Do you have this problem? Should I try to change some aspect of how I interact with others? Is this likely to be a significant problem in my life/career, or is this more one of those moderate annoyances that is only an issue if you let it be?

Thanks, Metafilter!

posted by wansac to human relations (37 answers total)

I have a co-worker I would describe as "so quiet!" She's very nice when I ask her questions or stop by her desk to chat, but she always seems very focused and keeps to herself. (She is never the one who stops by my desk to chat, for instance, and I would describe her half of conversations as "to the point.") I don't think of her as shy at all, and I like her plenty, plus she's great at her job. But I do think of her as rather intimidatingly standoffish, especially in an office where most everyone is very chatty.

I wonder if your co-workers telling you that you seem "so quiet!" is their way of expressing that they don't understand you, or are a little intimidated or frustrated that you don't fit into their accepted group dynamic. Going out of your way to start small talk now and then, even if it seems unnecessary or foreign to you, might go a lot way. I think if my co-worker struck up a short, casual conversation with me out of the blue even just every couple of weeks, I would have a very different impression of her.
posted by adiabat at 12:12 PM on December 7, 2011 [3 favorites]

I'm like that too. My response: "Yep! I like to listen. So what are you doing this weekend?"
posted by desjardins at 12:12 PM on December 7, 2011 [3 favorites]

Oh, God. The "you're so quiet" people. I'm much older than you and I can say that many workplaces have at least one of them. I don't know why they do it, and I don't know what they expect me/us to be doing, exactly. (Of course I'm quiet, I'm working, would you prefer me to be standing on my desk singing show tunes? Because that, while it would admittedly be much more fun, would also probably get me in trouble.)

If it helps, I think of this as a social/conversational problem on their part, not mine. Like you I am not outgoing or loud but have no problem talking to whoever if I have a reason. To my mind, if these people knew how to behave properly they'd either say nothing or something nice/neutral, like "How are you today?" instead of of critisizing.

is this more one of those moderate annoyances that is only an issue if you let it be?

Yes, this. I think you're fine.
posted by DestinationUnknown at 12:13 PM on December 7, 2011 [29 favorites]

This reminds me of that habit some people have of saying "Smile!" to people. You are not "too quiet." You are just fine. It's their problem. Next time someone tells you you're too quiet, give them a big friendly smile and say "No, I'm not. I'm just fine."
posted by ThatCanadianGirl at 12:14 PM on December 7, 2011 [12 favorites]

I have had this problem a lot over the years, and frankly no, there's nothing wrong with you and you don't have to try and change to appease someone else's perception of how people should act.

I mean, we're all individuals, aren't we?

I'm sure the people that say these things wouldn't like it if you said, "Hey, you don't half talk a lot. wh don't you try and be quieter?" in fact I'm positive they would think you were quite rude. The applies the other way, too.
posted by DuchessProzac at 12:16 PM on December 7, 2011 [6 favorites]

Hello, I am you! I am a quiet listener who talks just fine to strangers.

This is not a problem. You are making a mountain out of a molehill.

Most of the time when people say that I'm "so quiet", I chuckle and go: "Yeah! I am."

You have to understand the people who say this aren't quiet people. The concept of serenity is foreign to them. You being quiet is just something that boggles them.

They might also be extroverted which means you also boggle them.

You are an introverted quiet enigma to them.

Your quietness is less likely to impact future job opportunities then how well you do your current job. It might, might, might be a footnote. I can't see you not getting a job for it though. Jobs are not social interaction time to bosses. (unless it's in your job description)

On preview, nthing DestinationUnknown.
posted by royalsong at 12:16 PM on December 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

They might think your quietude is a comment on their productivity, or lack thereof. Independence can be seen as a sign of aggression.
posted by rhizome at 12:19 PM on December 7, 2011 [9 favorites]

You sound almost exactly like me. People are constantly describing me the way you've said they ascribe you. Eventually, I just learned (or, perhaps I'm still learning) to let it go and accept that people will see you how they want to see you, and you can't let it bother you. I mean, if you want to change how you act around people for some other reason, that's fine—Hey! Self-improvement!—but I wouldn't go through the effort just to stop people from calling you quiet, because once they do, they'll just find something else to pick on.
posted by divisjm at 12:23 PM on December 7, 2011

...in the way they describe you.
posted by divisjm at 12:23 PM on December 7, 2011

Yeah I get that too. There's nothing wrong with either of us.

If it helps, imagine answering them with "You're loud" or "You talk a lot." Pretty rude, right?
posted by callmejay at 12:24 PM on December 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Your quietness is less likely to impact future job opportunities then how well you do your current job. It might, might, might be a footnote. I can't see you not getting a job for it though. Jobs are not social interaction time to bosses. (unless it's in your job description)

I disagree. Many, many jobs are found via networking, schmoozing, social interaction. Many promotions are made that way as well. I don't mean that in a pejorative way (introverts often like to disparage extroverts too, as shallow or brown-nosing or whatever). I mean in a way that puts your coworkers, supervisors, clients, etc. at ease, so they ask for you on special projects, talk positively about you to your boss, etc.

Not that there's anything wrong with introverts. I am a hardcore introvert who grew up in a family of extroverts so believe me I know the "you're so quiet" line. But there are disadvantages to being an introvert in an extroverted world, and some of those disadvantages are professional in nature.
posted by headnsouth at 12:24 PM on December 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

Speaking as an extrovert married to a very introverted (and wonderful) man, I echo that extroverts are often at a loss with introverts. They don't understand that quiet does not mean "I disapprove" or "I don't like you" or "I'm better than you" or "I have better things to do than deal with you." So they do what comes naturally to extroverts -- ask questions, make comments that invite a response, try to get you talking so they can figure out what is up.

The trick here is just understanding that extroverts learn about the world and orient themselves by interacting with it, just the opposite of introverts, who observe, think, and don't necessarily need to produce a lot of words to communicate. I.e., these are probably not criticisms you are hearing, but shots in the dark to try to illuminate something the extroverts you deal with don't understand and worry about a bit.

I'd suggest just confirming when people comment, "Yes, I tend not to be a big talker. No worries. " Then, as desjardins suggests, ask about them. That is very reassuring for people who may be concerned you don't like them or disapprove of them.
posted by bearwife at 12:27 PM on December 7, 2011 [4 favorites]

Short answer, "no."

People just like to talk and if they don't know much about you, they'll go with what they know.

Unless you feel that these folks are actively hostile, you shouldn't make much of it. (If you think they are hostile, you shouldn't make much of that, either - just give enough to let them know you enjoy he job and enjoy the workplace.)

I'be worked in a couple of (not neccesary all-women) workplaces where the main thing my co-workers knew and discussed was that I wasn't and had never been married. They didn't mean anything in particular, it was just what they knew and it seemed odd to them.
posted by Lesser Shrew at 12:27 PM on December 7, 2011

It's their problem. Really.

My less glib answer: As long as you're not being completely unresponsive, I don't think that it's your problem.

Seeing as you're getting the comments mostly from co-workers, it may be that the workplace culture is significantly more extroverted than you are. It happens. My previous job was like this; we had several face-to-face meetings a week, plus some ad hoc ones, and people were generally very apt to come by your desk to ask you work questions instead of using the office messaging system (gasp!). For an introvert, this was stressful, but I coped in my introvert-y way.

I stopped worrying about what people thought of my quietness by thinking about the extroverts in the office, e.g., people who need to chat with me for 15 minutes about what they did/bought/ate/watched on the weekend before getting down to work-related business. Their behaviour was alien to me, but I was just as alien to them; if I was impatient with them (inside--I don't show it because I have an impassive Spockian exterior), well, that was my problem, not theirs.
posted by methroach at 12:31 PM on December 7, 2011

headnsouth, one would assume if the OP was networking, schmoozing, and engaging in social interaction in the pursuit of a job, s/he wouldn't be quiet.

Not to mention that if a company or boss doesn't want to hire him/her because s/he's considered quiet, that's clearly not a good fit for the OP. Especially if that takes precedence over being successful at the things in their job description.
posted by royalsong at 12:39 PM on December 7, 2011

The best is when someone says, "You're so quiet!" and a friend answers, "No. She's plotting."

Practice a Cheshire cat plotting smile.

I think extroverts like to tell that to people to pressure them to talk more. Don't take it as a criticism, just take it as an observation from someone who likes chatter. It says more about them than about you.

I have made an effort to have a few casual pieces of news or observations queued up as smalltalk fodder, if I need to make more of a social presence (with co-workers, etc.). The nice thing about extroverts is you don't have to give them much to keep the conversation moving and make them feel included. But don't feel the need to say things you don't feel like sharing.
posted by griselda at 1:00 PM on December 7, 2011 [1 favorite]

Being quiet worked fine for George Harrison, don't forget.

Which actually could be a glib joke to make the next time someone says you're "so quiet" ("What can I say, George was my favorite Beatle").
posted by EmpressCallipygos at 1:03 PM on December 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

People who love small talk are sometimes discombobulated by those who don't. It's not your problem, it's theirs.
posted by ook at 1:09 PM on December 7, 2011

Yell to startle them, then ask, "Better?"
posted by chickenmagazine at 1:15 PM on December 7, 2011

Ask them what they want you to talk about. Usually they don't know. Then you shrug and say "See?"
posted by Ghostride The Whip at 1:18 PM on December 7, 2011

When people tell me "you're so quiet" the Princess Bride line "only compared to some" always pops into my head (but never out of my mouth!).

As to people falsely conflating quietness and timidness/shyness, I don't understand it myself but find it a bit irritating. There doesn't seem to be a female equivalent of the 'strong silent type.' You might not get passed over for a promotion for being quiet, but if bosses also perceive you as being timid, it could become a problem.

Like adiabat and a few others have mentioned, try to initiate conversations sometimes. I was surprised, on looking back on interactions at a few of my workplaces, to find that while I responded well to people's overtures, I almost *never* started anything. Don't let it bother you, though; you say you think you communicate just fine and I bet the majority of others do, too.
posted by martianna at 1:20 PM on December 7, 2011 [2 favorites]

I've been watching a lot of old episodes of What Not to Wear lately, and one of the things they keep talking about is that it is important to get your outsides (i.e. your clothes and general appearance) matching your insides, so that people who might be drawn to you aren't put off by false impressions. And if you are a pretty brave person doing a difficult job and everyone around you is telling you that you're "too nice" and "too timid" then it sounds like your insides and your outsides don't match as well as they could.

I'm hopeless at clothes, so I'm not going to give you fashion advice. But you might think about your mannerisms and habits of speech, because those assessments of "too timid" are coming from somewhere. And if you can figure out what's causing that perception, I'd work on changing those habits. If you don't, it could cause you some problems down the line. Maybe not when you're looking for a job but when it comes time for promotions.

I also think it's worth practicing small talk and trying to get better at it. People sometimes seem to think that learning a new social skill is a betrayal of their inner persona, but really small talk is just a useful tool to have in your toolbox. I'm not sure why, out of all the behaviors that we learn that are not innate (riding a bicylce, using a fork, writing an essay, using the toilet), people balk at the idea that social behavior can and should be learned. Small talk can be a way to form friendships and to participate in a community. You don't have to pull it out all of the time, but it's better to be able to have the skill in your backpocket so that when you want to, you can participate in something rather than being so bad at it that you feel like you never have the option.
posted by colfax at 1:21 PM on December 7, 2011 [9 favorites]

Open the conversation more. I used to get the "quiet" line a lot. It stopped being so bad when i made the effort to get people talking.
posted by Solomon at 1:42 PM on December 7, 2011

"I'm the strong, silent type" and wink. I agree with bearwife that your extroverts may just be checking out what the deal is with your non-chattiness. It's annoying but if you manage to own it in a good humoured way they'll get used to it.
Avoid replies that might be construed as grumpy (like Ghostrider's suggestion). Unless you want to be seen as "the grumpy one".
posted by Omnomnom at 2:01 PM on December 7, 2011

have you tried therapy?
posted by cupcake1337 at 4:48 PM on December 7, 2011

I'm not sure, but I think the "you're so quiet" stuff may be a U.S. thing. I'm American, and "quiet", but I've lived in China for a few years now and Chinese people never tell me I am "too quiet". In China, and I guess a lot of Asian cultures, it's considered uncouth to talk too much at certain times, and quietness, if not necessarily a virtue, is nothing to be ashamed of. It's nice to live in a country where people don't constantly ask, "why aren't you talking?!?! what's wrong?!?!"

So, just another perspective. Nothing is wrong with you, you are just somewhat different than what your culture expects.
posted by bearette at 4:50 PM on December 7, 2011

PS- In another 10 years you will care a lot less that people think you are "quiet" :)

(I was constantly described as "quiet", and it also bothered me a lot, but now that I am in my early 30's, comments like that don't bother me nearly as much. I expect they will bother me less and less as the years go by).
posted by bearette at 4:54 PM on December 7, 2011

I think the above advice about extroverts interpreting introverts is spot-on. I also think that extroverts who don't get introverts might ask out of concern for you, especially in the workplace where they see you over time. Like, have you ever heard someone say to someone else, "You're awfully quiet, is anything wrong?" They might just be asking in a subtle way if you are ok or feeling generally ok with your workplace. (Not that being quiet is a negative thing...extroverts might just interpret it as such because they never shut up unless they are cranky/stressed/giving someone the silent treatment.)

But yeah, it's not your problem! I'm quiet too. Still waters and all.
posted by shortyJBot at 5:19 PM on December 7, 2011

There's nothing wrong with you. Some people just can't stand silences that last longer than 5 seconds, and have to fill the void with chatter.

I haven't gotten the "You're so quiet!" line in a long time, but my stock response used to be a shrug followed by "I don't know what to tell you." because honestly, I don't know what to tell someone who says that to me.

Starting the conversation once in a while as others have suggested isn't a bad idea, but do it on your own terms. For instance, if you see someone listening to a CD you really like, say "Oh, I really like that album, have you heard their earlier onet?" but don't say, "How about [Local Sports Team] last night, eh!" if you're not into sports.

is this more one of those moderate annoyances that is only an issue if you let it be?

Pretty much, keeping what headnsouth said somewhat in mind; depending on your industry/department/company there may be a certain amount of gladhanding involved in climbing the ladder but then again... if you're good at your job and the right people know it, it doesn't matter how quiet you are. Try not let the extroverts make you feel weird for being yourself - and like bearette says, in another 10 years you'll be that much more comfortable in your own skin.
posted by usonian at 5:27 PM on December 7, 2011

I have this problem - in my case, it's partly because I sit next to someone who simply doesn't understand that introversion ≠ unfriendly. But aside from being an introvert, I'm also keenly aware of the fact that in my line of work (I'm a legal assistant in a law firm), constant chatter is unprofessional at the least, and malpractice for my boss at the most (i.e., if I email a confidential document to the wrong client as a result of too much distraction). So, while I prefer to be quiet, I also don't want to get fired for careless mistakes.

For the past two years that I've been with this Firm, I've had the misfortune to be seated next to a woman who's been here 10 years, and is literally, a nonstop talker. When she's not talking to herself, she's talking to someone on the phone, or to another coworker who sits down the hall. She is *always* commenting on how I'm "so quiet."

Guess what? I received a Christmas bonus, and have very good relationships with my attorney bosses. She received bad evaluations, and after years of switching her from one attorney to another, the Firm decided enough was enough and she is being let go at the end of this year.

I'm able to brush off her comments with a light laugh, because I make my entire day about my work product. I may come across as snooty or boring to some - but never to my attorneys, because they see the results in the work I complete for them. Duplicate errors, missing documents, spelling and grammar mistakes? Not on my watch. I've become quite good at what I do - this has boosted my self-confidence so much, I don't allow statements made by coworkers with poor work ethics dictate how I should feel about myself. Good luck, and hope this helps.
posted by invisible ink at 6:10 PM on December 7, 2011

I like to say to these people: "The wise man speaks when he has something to say. The fool speaks because he must".

One area to watch out for though, is to ensure that when you're in meetings etc at work, if at all possible try to plan in advance several things to mention, even if it's just "xyz has been working smoothly" or the like. If you frequently attend meetings and end up sitting in the corner not saying anything, you may end up getting overshadowed by more mouthy colleagues, which can have negative outcomes for promotion opportunities.
posted by HiroProtagonist at 7:12 PM on December 7, 2011

One thing I would say as a positive spin on the "You're so quiet!" people is that part of it may just be that they want to get to know you more. I am a very quiet introverted person, but I am around of a lot of awesome people, whom I like, so I make efforts to give people opportunities to get to know me (and ruthleslly cut off or ignore people I don't like, by the way). Not in a fake or self-aggrandizing way, but just by being around, and making more effort to inject myself into conversations when I have something to say.
posted by !Jim at 7:36 PM on December 7, 2011

I fit your description pretty well. I don't care that much about what people think of me, but I know that being quiet makes it easier for people to misinterpret my interactions with them. The people I work with are pretty sarcastic and like to joke around a lot. They often assume that I dislike them if I don't play along and pretend to get mad when they tease me. Sometimes I feel like I have to be apologetic about it. "I don't hate you, I'm just quiet..." But it's not always a bad thing; I also get told that I have a calming presence, and I'm perceived as intelligent because I keep my mouth shut instead of blurting out stupid things.

I like being quiet. I don't think you need to change anything about yourself. You can embrace your identity as a quiet person- take it as a compliment instead of an insult.
posted by lali at 10:48 PM on December 7, 2011

To other people, there's a juxtaposition in your nature. You find it easy to talk to others, you do a high pressure job, and have a job that requires high social skills.

Yet I think you probably rarely approach others for needless conversations, most likely you rarely approach others for their opinions, and previous abuse in your past probably makes you more on the independent side. This makes you quiet.

And that's the problem that people have.

They think "Oh look, wansac can talk to that patient so easily but wansac never talks to us about pointless things or asks us for our opinion."

You can tell them you're observing a Buddhist precept against needless, unnecessary chatter. Or that you're trying to concentrate on your job. If you want to be slightly rude, you can say "Does this bother you? If so, why?"

I think we're a lot alike.
posted by Ms. Moonlight at 12:22 AM on December 8, 2011

If you frequently attend meetings and end up sitting in the corner not saying anything, you may end up getting overshadowed by more mouthy colleagues, which can have negative outcomes for promotion opportunities.

I'm mostly an extrovert, and I'm going to offer a slightly different perspective on this, riffing off of this line above.

I work with a lot of introverts. Bright, smart, opinionated introverts who often say almost nothing in meetings. I want to hear what these people think about an issue because I know they are bright and insightful.

Sometimes we hear presentations or issues are raised, and the facilitator/presenter asks for questions or responses, and I bite my tongue. I wait and I wait and I wait. And no one says anything. And it's making the presenter feel bad or awkward. Inevitably, one of the extroverts chimes in, because he or she does have something to say (I like to think we're a bright bunch as well) and because, well, if no one else is going to say anything, he or she might as well. Interestingly, we extroverts sometimes hear that we talk too much--but when it's time for discussion, and no one is saying anything, how on earth can we not talk? (I mean this mostly rhetorically.)

As extroverts, we might do our best thinking by saying something out loud. I do my best thinking when I get to ask lots of questions and get clarifications and probe every tiny detail of an issue. I'm not being combative--I'm trying to figure things out.

And when my bright, insightful colleagues say nothing, I feel like we all lose--they don't get to contribute their take on the issue, and I don't get to hear their insight, which might influence my opinion.

Sometimes these folks will say something if someone says, "Hey, Fred, what's your take on this?" And sometimes not. Sometimes they seem not to like being called out.

And sometimes after the meetings, these quiet people who said nothing will tell their opinion to one person, the facilitator, which is a different way of communicating, and I respect that, but as a team, we're stronger if we hear everyone's take (I think).

So in your situation, "you're so quiet" might actually mean, "I'm wondering what you are thinking." It may be their own way of trying to include you, and it may reflect that they actually really do want to hear what you have to say.

So make sure you are offering your opinion or insight or take on something when it's relevant. I agree with the advice offered above that, in meetings, it'd be great if you have at least one or two things to contribute. It'll help your colleagues feel more comfortable.

This doesn't mean anything is wrong with you. But there may be ways you can help your colleagues better understand and appreciate you.
posted by bluedaisy at 9:42 AM on December 8, 2011 [2 favorites]

Oh, I have something else! Because I'm an extrovert and can't stop!

Speaking of career opportunities: we had a very important committee being formed in my organization, and the bosses were looking for suggestions on who should serve on that committee. These committee members would be representing my group. I have some incredibly amazing colleagues who are bright and work hard but who rarely contribute in meetings, even when their direct interest is at stake.

There was someone who would have been great for this committee except for one problem: I was worried she wouldn't tell everyone else what she thought. And in this committee, keeping up and knowing what was going on would have been useful if the person couldn't represent us. This was a situation where these committee members might have to be pretty assertive in representing our take on things. My past experience working on committees with her suggests that even when she has a strong and relevant opinion on something, she might not share it unless asked very directly. So I recommended someone slightly less awesome because I knew the less awesome person would at least speak up when it mattered.

So if this is a similar situation for you--your colleagues suspect (perhaps incorrectly) that you are not making your opinion known when it's important--that could be a problem. Perhaps you are sharing your concerns with management, but your colleagues haven't yet understood your take on things because you haven't shared your thoughts with them. So they don't know if they can trust you or not.

I have no idea is this is the same situation for you, but I'm hoping this might offer you some insight into what these folks mean. Good luck sorting through this.
posted by bluedaisy at 9:50 AM on December 8, 2011

Thanks for all the comments, everyone.

Bluedaisy: I always talk at least some (and sometimes a lot) in meetings. When it comes to actual, substantive work stuff, I chime in plenty. In school I tended to be the student who started off all the group discussions. I think it's more the social aspect that people seem to be commenting on.

Colfax: I hear what you're saying. It's possible my outside isn't matching my inside, but the problem is I feel like it really does. I am a person that likes to listen more than speak. I really don't like to talk in a rambling or indirect way (although I don't mind listening). I think I'm mostly frustrated by the way younger, softer-spoken, "quieter" female immediately equals shy or somehow weak in some people's eyes. Maybe you are right that I should put some time in to figure out what wouldn't give people that impression, but I'm a little hesitant to, because I tend to believe I shouldn't have to be loud and overbearing to be considered competent and capable.

Omnomnom: Totally using the "strong, quiet type" line in the future!

cupcake1337:...I'm really not sure if your response is serious, or if you're making a joke about how therapy is suggested on every Ask thread. What would I be going to therapy for? And why? ...have you tried therapy?

Bearwife: I think you're probably correct about why some people are pointing out my "quietness" to me.

Adiabat: Even though I've marked DestinationUnknown's answer as the best, you are probably still correct to suggest starting a conversation every now and then isn't going to hurt me.

Thanks again, everyone!
posted by wansac at 4:20 PM on December 8, 2011