December 5, 2011 9:14 PM Subscribe
A classmate/mutual friend of my friend (read: no friend of mine!) ruined 2 of my college textbooks and does not seem to care to do much about it. What should I do? More details inside.
posted by camylanded to human relations (22 answers total)
I'm in an odd situation and I'm going to try to make a long story as short and concise as possible.
So there's a woman that I knew through mutual friends a few years ago. We only occasionally hung out with said mutual friends and never on our own. She seemed alright to me, and besides, she was best friends with one of my friends and I always gave her the benefit of a doubt because of this. I will say that some of her actions back then were...questionable. She was very into drinking at the time and she had a boyfriend that seemed to be treating her horribly.
Fast forward to a few months ago, at the start of this semester. She happens to be in one of my classes and we begin talking together during our breaks. I'll admit, I've been very busy the past 6 months and in those 6 months, I've lost contact with a few people so I've been taking an active interest to be sociable and make new or forge old connections with friends-- and I gave her my number during class and told her we should hang out sometime. She's been texting me here and there since I gave her my number.
About a week ago, she calls me and asks me if I could help her with a paper in our mutual class. Thinking she means asking me questions over the phone, I say sure and she says she'll call back in 5 minutes. 5 minutes later, she says she's at my apartment building and she needs to know what number I live in. Even though I'm a little unsure why she's at my apartment building, I tell her and she comes up. I had been watching a movie and spending some time with my (live-in) boyfriend.... and we were both confused. She comes in and starts complaining about her boyfriend issues and then proceeds to drink a decent amount of alcohol...my boyfriend's response to this is to say he's going to bed and thus leaving me alone with a rambling tipsy chick I hardly know anymore. I have a glass of wine myself, shake it off, and begin on homework for another class and for awhile, things are going fine.
About 20 or 30 minutes pass and all of a sudden, she's super sloshed and she gets a wine bottle and starts to pour....only she misses and she pours wine all over my (note: expensive obviously, $450 worth to be more exact) college textbooks. I freak and automatically take them off the table and begin wiping them with paper towels like crazy. She seems embarrassed and she goes outside. She says she'd be happy to exchange our mutual class textbook and she asks how much I would like for the other textbook. Knowing it's worth much more, I say $50 (I was going to sell it back to Amazon for $100). She says she doesn't have any money because of her boyfriend and I say "Well, I do need something for it, but we can talk about it tomorrow."
She's still apparently embarrassed and says I should just kick her ass, to which I respond "I've never been a violent person and I'm not mad, I just want money to replace my books." She just smiles at me and that's pretty much it... she leaves shortly thereafter and I say we'll get a hold of each other later on in the week to figure it all out. (I know. It's totally not kosher to let a sloshed person drive themselves home so please try to refrain from the judgement on this call.)
So a couple days later, she calls and says she's left a folder at my house. I mention the textbook she needs to exchange and she says "Why are we exchanging textbooks?!"... I remind her of what happened and she's like "Oh. I forgot." ... she does come over for her folder and she gives me her textbook. I tell her thanks and again remind her that the other book is screwed and that I really need the money from it. Her response? "Oh...that sucks..." and she basically says she needs to leave.
So then yesterday she asks via text if I want to hang out. I had class so I declined, but I casually mention that I really did want to work something out with the textbook situation. I say "I know we're both broke, but I did plan on using that money for Christmas gifts for my family and it's the only time of the year I can really get them something nice...perhaps you could trade me one of your non-ruined textbooks so I can trade it in for cash?" ....to which she never responded. It's been a day. I know she got the text.
So the question is, how do I approach this situation? Do I keep hounding her about it? I tried to fix the textbook for Amazon....and while the stain is only on the top of the last 2 pages and it's not warped, it is noticeable enough to where I can't do the buyback. I asked our mutual friend about the situation and she basically said that she thought I'd never get the money back and that I'd probably get avoided like the black plague. I can't help but think I'm pushing this too hard but my book was PRISTINE before this incident and the book is really worth a lot of money.... I have maybe $70 for Christmas gifts for my boyfriend, his family and my family combined because I can't return this book (which is worth $100 in buyback funds). We are very broke right now. I'm thinking if she does avoid me, I will hound her until it's uncomfortable and then never talk to her again and honestly, I'm so pissed about this situation that I don't care how insensitive that sounds. Also, please be kind and avoid the "shrug and move on" statements as I know in the end, that's all I can really do.
Any suggestions or experiences like this?
Side questions: Any good ways to get a stain off a page in a textbook? Any other places to sell back a textbook with a problem like this?