Unless I initiate, there's no talking. Is this normal?
December 3, 2011 10:23 AM Subscribe
I've always had to initiate nearly all [online] conversations I've ever had. I would like to do something about it.
posted by anonymous to human relations (14 answers total) 4 users marked this as a favorite
I can have great conversations with people, particularly on the internet. It is admitted the conversations were indeed great. However, unless I initiate the next one, there will be complete and utter silence. There are no inquiries into the events of my life; nothing so small as simply asking how I've been since we hadn't talked for weeks, no easy-to-do follow-up on a previous conversation, no desire to share some developments with me that I may find interesting.
Obviously I can command the attention of someone while communicating in person, but online chatting makes up the bulk of the communication I maintain with acquaintances. I can't quite call people friends if they never bother to initiate. This would be fine with me if it weren't for the fact that, with one exception, this is what happens with most people I try to get to know and talk to.
Is this a problem with me? Given that I'm the most consistent factor in all of these instances, am I doing something to sabotage any desire others might have had to initiate? Am I simply completely socially incompetent? After having a very engaging conversation spanning 4 or 5 hours and then being treated as if I'm not even there the next day, I'm not sure I can even muster the right words to explain this well. Comments, anecdotes, advice, etc. -- anything is welcome.