Can I/How do I fall back in lust?
December 2, 2011 2:39 PM Subscribe
Can I/how do I fall back in lust?
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (22 answers total) 20 users marked this as a favorite
I've been with my SO for four years, and for the last two of them, our sex life has badly stagnated. We go through periods of getting it back on track, but recently it's got down to once a month, if that. Neither of us make enough effort to initiate, too often one of us is up for it, the other brushes them off. Our advances have devolved into a sort of pseudo-comedic groping, which I think is because we've lost the ability to see each other sensually. It's as if we're best friends messing around but being kind of embarrassed about it.
I've started thinking seriously about seeking sex elsewhere and this has woken me up to the fact that I can't keep avoiding this subject. I love him, deeply - I've never known a man who I admired, respected, and loved so much, and I owe him so much more than to throw that away. But I don't know where to start. We've talked about it a few times and we always resolve to do better, but I just don't know how to get the lust back into our relationship.
Breaking up is not off the table. I miss sex, I really miss it, and I can't carry on like this indefinitely. But I want so, so bad for there to be another solution, as in every single other respect he is the man I would adore to spend the rest of my life with.
Have you been here? Did you manage to fall back in lust and if so, how did you get there?