November 29, 2011 6:09 PM Subscribe
I think I need to tell my ex-FWB that I can't hang out with him anymore. I do, right? How do I... do that?
posted by anonymous to human relations (15 answers total) 6 users marked this as a favorite
We were friends, and then we started hanging out alone and drinking, and then we started hooking up, and then he said he couldn't anymore ("timing"). I said that I was okay with that, we were out of contact for a week, and then we started up with the hanging out alone and drinking again (at his instigation). And, oh, we also live really near each other and have some mutual friends and common activities that mean we'll see each other occasionally in group settings, indefinitely.
Long story short, I've realized that I'm not okay with it. I have strong feelings for him. I have fun while we're hanging out, and then come home alone and feel miserable.
I'm assuming that if he felt the same way about me, he wouldn't have called off whatever we had going, and I really don't want to be the girl who waits around forever waiting for a guy to change his mind. But I think that he honestly thinks that I'm okay with going back to being friends (and why wouldn't he-- I said I was). I should tell him that I need to cut contact for a while, right? But... how? Every time I've started a conversation like this, it's been after tons of drama that made it pretty obvious to both of us that we shouldn't be around each other anymore. In this case, everything's been totally smooth on the surface. Just ignoring his calls sounds mean. I don't even know how to initiate a talk like this. Do I wait for the next time he calls and say "I need to talk to you"? Take the initiative myself? Or is going AWOL the better option? If you have experience in productive tie-cutting conversations/actions, please hope me.