I am an asshole, sorry man
November 29, 2011 8:55 AM Subscribe
Went on some dates with a friend, I'm not so into him, he's REALLY into me. How do I end this? I feel sick just thinking about it.
posted by anonymous to human relations (34 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
I am a relatively new member of a large circle of friends- I've known most of the people for about three or four months. I really like them all and they've been a huge help as I settle into a new city.
One of the guys in this group began expressing some interest in me and eventually asked me out. He seemed nice, so I said sure, and we went on a date which was... fine. I liked him, but didn't feel any sort of spark or romantic connection. But I know that first dates aren't always good indicators, so I figured I'd give him another shot.
It gets bad on the second 'date,' which was actually a booze-fueled party we both happened to go to. I wound up going home with him- no sex, but everything but. When I woke up it was like "oh fuck." I shouldn't have done that, and I regret it, because I knew I didn't know how I felt about him. But I didn't let it show at the time. Because I am a horny thoughtless jerk when drunk, apparently.
He asked me out again, and I said yes because I have a bad habit of deciding I don't like guys immediately after I hook up with them, and I figured I owed him a second ACTUAL date, with sobriety. I thought things might be different, but unfortunately it was the same as the first date- I really like talking to him, he's a great guy, but there's just no spark. I don't want to kiss him or hold his hand. When he said goodbye he kissed me and smiled and said "I'm really having fun with you" and I felt like the world's biggest monster.
Ugh, he's so nice and cute. I wish I liked him that way but I just don't.
I've never had to break it off with anyone before. How on earth do I say "hey, I know it's seemed like I was as into you as you are into me, and I hooked up with you, but I really don't find you physically attractive after all. Please don't shit-talk me to all my new friends and ruin my budding social life!" I just feel like I'm going to hurt him and then he's going to hurt me and it will be this huge clusterfuck. And I feel like I led him on by going on these dates in the first place.
(PS please don't link to that Miko comment, I have been on 2.5 dates with this guy.)