Do I move out and leave my best friend with a man I (and sometime we) hate?
November 26, 2011 7:58 PM Subscribe
Friendship Help! Currently living with my boyfriend, my borderline-diagnosed best friend and her friend with whom she has a like/dislike relationship with and who I can't stand. When the lease ends, what should I do?
posted by Saebrial to Human Relations (24 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My best friend was diagnosed at the start of the year with borderline personality disorder (BPD) and as a result has impulsive tendencies, mood swings and sees things in black and white (she either loves it or loathes it). I am trying to do what I can to help her, most important is being a stable and ever-present figure. She has a friend who she can't leave for legal reasons (they may have misinformed the government as to the exact nature of their relationship) and as the friend is foreign my bestie is their only contact here. The only problem is that my boyfriend and I can't stand the friend. He consistantly inconsiderate, stonewalling us whenever we try and discuss anything related to the living situation, and absolutly expolitive of my best friend. For example, he knows she is dependent on him for transport (My boyfriend and I work nights and can't help her), so he convinces her to buy carparts and tires, then refuses to let her use the car. This is despite the fact that he works full time and has cash, while she studies and does 10hrs work per week. It has happened about three times now. He knows she is emotionally volitile, but yelled at her for crying so often so she started cutting herself instead. She has said to me on numerous occasions that the relationship is not good, but she can't leave him. So, the end of lease comes in a few months and my boyfriend and I have one aim: get away from her friend. However, if we leave my best friend, I'm afraid she'll end up in a deep depression and try to kill herself (she's had two instances in the last year of taking half the pill cabinet). She won't leave him, I'd forever blame myself if I left her with him but I'm at the point whenever time I think about her friend I want him gone. It's getting past the point of dislike into active hatred. Even if we bit the bullet and resigned with both of them, her situation is only going to get worse because she can't get away from him. Help!