How can I help my family accept my partner?
November 26, 2011 8:36 AM Subscribe
My family refuses to use the correct pronouns for my partner. What is the best way to approach this?
posted by anonymous to human relations (51 answers total) 1 user marked this as a favorite
My girlfriend Jamie and I have been dating for about six months. My family lives out of state, and they have not met her yet. I am early-20's female, and she is as well.
She was born male and is in the early stages of her transition. When referring to her, I use exclusively female pronouns, because this is how she identifies. However, my family (most adamantly, my mother and brother) continue to refer to my partner using male pronouns.
I have tried talking to them about it, and they have expressed that it is just confusing for them, and they will try to remember, but "it's not that big of a deal." I generally correct them when they refer to her as male, and they tend to get very frustrated at my "nitpicking."
I want my girlfriend to meet my family, but I know that it will be hurtful for her if she feels that they don't accept her. How can I bridge the gap between our world and theirs, and make them understand that it is, in fact, "a big deal?"