Seeking long term advice for dealing with "asker" in-laws as a life-long "guesser."
She did it again
. THIS Thanksgiving, my mother-in-law invited herself and the rest of her family on my annual, already booked, week-long vacation with my family (mom, dad, siblings, spouses). This time, all parties in question are flying distance from the vacation spot, a very small place, and MIL has decided that they'll be going the same week and husband and I can either spend time with them or not. I like my in-laws. I like to vacation with them. I don't like the passive-aggressive intrusion on an already-planned trip. Nor do my parents, who are gifting us the vacation for Christmas.
So the current situation is being handled by husband and I (and my parents as well, whom she has already contacted with her intentions) as best we can for now, so my question, I suppose, is really about how to move forward knowing that I come from a "guess" family and my husband comes from an "ask" family. This appears to be a pretty solid trend now, so how do I more effectively deal with this issue NEXT Thanksgiving?
What kind of communication styles or attitudes will help me in dealing with these issues in the future? Do "askers" simply take no for an answer? As a guesser, I feel like I'm going to hurt her if I say no. I'm so wrought with anxiety at having to tell her no that I cannot concentrate on my work for the week. Can I anticipate these things or head them off in a better way?
Thank you MeFi.