Dealing with a friend's crush
November 21, 2011 11:43 AM Subscribe
How do I deal with unwanted advances from someone who I really, really want to be friends with?
posted by anonymous to human relations (41 answers total) 5 users marked this as a favorite
I am a 26-year-old female. I take part in an activity that I really enjoy and love the people I have met through it. In fact, I've met my current (awesome) boyfriend through the activity and most of my friends in my newish city.
Recently, a boy in this activity has started telling other members of the activity that he is "in love" with me/has a huge crush on me. Other people seem to find this charming, and, admittedly, if I were single he'd probably be the type of person I'd be interested in. As it is, I am happily taken, and his overtures (which have included buying me flirty-named drinks, tweeting about me, and telling every one of our common friends that he's into me) are making me uncomfortable. He definitely knows I have a boyfriend and that we're exclusive.
What is the most diplomatic way to tell him to back off while not stirring shit within our tight-knit friend group? I don't want to cause unwarranted drama, and I've been hoping that his flirting would stop when I acted polite/friendly but slightly cold. However, it has been steady (though not escalating).
Should I just continue to maintain a polite but friendly distance, or do I need to talk to him about this? How do I frame this in a diplomatic but assertive way?