Anonymous and BF make a porno
November 20, 2011 4:01 PM Subscribe
Advice/best practices for homemade sexytime photos and videos?
Boyfriend and I (hetero couple) are interested in making homemade sexy pictures and maybe videos. I'm in my late thirties, he's early forties, so we didn't grow up with sexting or amateur porn. We're both okay with porn (he says he likes amateur stuff best). We're both intrigued, but finding it hard to get comfortable. He's taken a few pictures of me/us that I think are dead sexy, and a few more that look like forensic evidence, not sexy. Neither of us really likes to have our photo taken with clothes ON, FFS. So... basically, how do people actually DO this? Do they keep a camera on the nightstand at all times? Is the taking of the photos the foreplay, the main event, or do people get off to them later? (alone? together?) Is the idea that you document something that you'd be doing anyway, or is it like "hey let's have a sexy photoshoot and see what else happens!?"Sorry I'm so clueless. I know a lot of this boils down to "do what turns YOU on" and communication, but I want to take the temperature of the room, so to speak.
Oh and this question isn't about trust issues, or computer security, or "OMG what if you DTMFA and he puts them on the internet!!" I know those are legit points but that's not what I'm seeking advice about, this is about making it comfortable and fun. Thanks
Boyfriend and I (hetero couple) are interested in making homemade sexy pictures and maybe videos. I'm in my late thirties, he's early forties, so we didn't grow up with sexting or amateur porn. We're both okay with porn (he says he likes amateur stuff best). We're both intrigued, but finding it hard to get comfortable. He's taken a few pictures of me/us that I think are dead sexy, and a few more that look like forensic evidence, not sexy. Neither of us really likes to have our photo taken with clothes ON, FFS. So... basically, how do people actually DO this? Do they keep a camera on the nightstand at all times? Is the taking of the photos the foreplay, the main event, or do people get off to them later? (alone? together?) Is the idea that you document something that you'd be doing anyway, or is it like "hey let's have a sexy photoshoot and see what else happens!?"Sorry I'm so clueless. I know a lot of this boils down to "do what turns YOU on" and communication, but I want to take the temperature of the room, so to speak.
Oh and this question isn't about trust issues, or computer security, or "OMG what if you DTMFA and he puts them on the internet!!" I know those are legit points but that's not what I'm seeking advice about, this is about making it comfortable and fun. Thanks
Take turns drawing one another. Even if you both suck as artists, you will still have the thrill of looking at each other with a purpose. Bonus, if you break up then it is art and not the most shameful thing that's ever been shown to 300 of his closest facebook buddies.
posted by myselfasme at 5:25 PM on November 20, 2011 [5 favorites]
posted by myselfasme at 5:25 PM on November 20, 2011 [5 favorites]
So my digital camera was around for maybe a month or two before it got started getting employed for sexy photos. Here's my experience:
Consider getting proper equipment; you're going to look better in better cameras. Cell phone photos are grainy and terrible, especially in dim bedroom lighting situations. Those $200 point and shoot cameras are better, but at high ISO and low light things can, again, look a little off. OKTrends (the blog associated with OKCupid) looked at the meta-data and attractiveness rating of profile pics and found hands down people looked better in very nice (like dSLR) cameras. You look more like a real life person, and less like an awkward photograph.
The way I got into it was, and the way I recommend getting started is; if I was having good sex, the camera would come out and my partner and I experimented. Here's a short list of some tips.
- We appraised the result while were still in the heat of the moment - We were more tolerant of mistakes (we skipped them quickly) and it was easy to tell by our body's response what we thought the best takes were.
- We gave and accepted a lot of direction - Getting a chance to experiment a lot kinda helped the learning curve.
- The camera came out during good sex, only - it created positive reinforcement. If one of us was too drunk, or it was taking a while to get in the mood, we didn't add the combustible of maybe seeing a photo, realizing we'd rather cuddle, then spend the rest of the night wondering if it was due to the photo and think of nothing but the next chance to gym it up.
- Figure out what the partner likes by giving him control - My GF liked a certain angle that she was not good at capturing, she tried, kinda showing me in general, and then let me take the photo/video. Repeat.
- Close up shots are not everyone's cup of tea. . . and they're tricky. I have a couple I love, but... yeah, they are 95% terrible.
- watch real porn together, if you can (it's hit or miss in relationships whether or not you and the S/O actually enjoy it and still keep eachother the focus of whatevers going on with porn on). Figure out how they shoot and what parts of it you like.
- mirrors are a cheap way to make shots more dynamic - making it possible to capture something you otherwise wouldn't without another person.
- Try taking video, most digital cameras have the ability to take short clips - It's actually super hard to pose for a still frame, and its hard to time shots. Taking video I think makes the learning curve easier, you can scan through a clip and find good still frames.
- There will always be bad stuff, delete it and move on - I know a couple girls who modeled in their early 20s, and they are in possession of some terrible photographs of themselves. Its not your fault of some stuff ends up looking like forensic evidence, the human body is tricky, even professionals will take some stinkers. The mistake is to stop trying and not replace those dull pics with something actually exciting. If you keep a file of good stuff on your computer it will be a high-light reel inspiring repeat performances.
I think the above stuff is pretty general and along the lines of what you were looking for. Looking forward to other suggestions.
posted by sharkbot1957 at 6:02 PM on November 20, 2011 [4 favorites]
Consider getting proper equipment; you're going to look better in better cameras. Cell phone photos are grainy and terrible, especially in dim bedroom lighting situations. Those $200 point and shoot cameras are better, but at high ISO and low light things can, again, look a little off. OKTrends (the blog associated with OKCupid) looked at the meta-data and attractiveness rating of profile pics and found hands down people looked better in very nice (like dSLR) cameras. You look more like a real life person, and less like an awkward photograph.
The way I got into it was, and the way I recommend getting started is; if I was having good sex, the camera would come out and my partner and I experimented. Here's a short list of some tips.
- We appraised the result while were still in the heat of the moment - We were more tolerant of mistakes (we skipped them quickly) and it was easy to tell by our body's response what we thought the best takes were.
- We gave and accepted a lot of direction - Getting a chance to experiment a lot kinda helped the learning curve.
- The camera came out during good sex, only - it created positive reinforcement. If one of us was too drunk, or it was taking a while to get in the mood, we didn't add the combustible of maybe seeing a photo, realizing we'd rather cuddle, then spend the rest of the night wondering if it was due to the photo and think of nothing but the next chance to gym it up.
- Figure out what the partner likes by giving him control - My GF liked a certain angle that she was not good at capturing, she tried, kinda showing me in general, and then let me take the photo/video. Repeat.
- Close up shots are not everyone's cup of tea. . . and they're tricky. I have a couple I love, but... yeah, they are 95% terrible.
- watch real porn together, if you can (it's hit or miss in relationships whether or not you and the S/O actually enjoy it and still keep eachother the focus of whatevers going on with porn on). Figure out how they shoot and what parts of it you like.
- mirrors are a cheap way to make shots more dynamic - making it possible to capture something you otherwise wouldn't without another person.
- Try taking video, most digital cameras have the ability to take short clips - It's actually super hard to pose for a still frame, and its hard to time shots. Taking video I think makes the learning curve easier, you can scan through a clip and find good still frames.
- There will always be bad stuff, delete it and move on - I know a couple girls who modeled in their early 20s, and they are in possession of some terrible photographs of themselves. Its not your fault of some stuff ends up looking like forensic evidence, the human body is tricky, even professionals will take some stinkers. The mistake is to stop trying and not replace those dull pics with something actually exciting. If you keep a file of good stuff on your computer it will be a high-light reel inspiring repeat performances.
I think the above stuff is pretty general and along the lines of what you were looking for. Looking forward to other suggestions.
posted by sharkbot1957 at 6:02 PM on November 20, 2011 [4 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
Camera on nightstand is good. Taking the pictures can be the foreplay. But I even like doing it when we're just hanging around naked in bed on a Saturday morning. I mean if you don't feel comfortable when you're taking them, you're going to look uncomfortable. You do like being naked right? Just play with the camera while you're naked. Take pictures of each other's butts or left toes. Be silly. Laughing is good.
Distraction also works, take a picture of them while they're reading or drinking coffee naked.
posted by Mercaptan at 5:24 PM on November 20, 2011 [1 favorite]