How to handle a cheating in-law?
November 15, 2011 6:17 PM Subscribe
My MIL is having an affair, is not being smart about it and I don't know how to be around her now.
posted by anonymous to human relations (33 answers total)
I recently found out that my mother-in-law is possibly having an affair with a co-worker, and is at the very least sending graphic photos of herself to several different email addresses. The email addresses look to be throwaway yahoo addresses, but she is sending the images from her main email address, which is FirstName.LastName. Her last name is somewhat unique and I'm concerned about these random guys finding out more information about her.
Of course my other concern is my FIL. (I did tell my spouse what I discovered and so far he/she has not wanted to discuss it further, which I understand.) My in-laws have been in couples counseling for at least six months but my FIL had to fight to get my MIL to go, and now I understand why she was hesitant. She admitted to me last year that she was unhappy and wanting out of the marriage, but when they started counseling she told me things were better.
Is there any way I can at least suggest she be more careful with these photos and her email address, without letting her know I know, or how I know? (Admittedly unsatisfactory explanation - I do some IT work for them from time to time and I was logged into her email account without her knowledge. Believe me I've beaten myself up for this plenty, not to mention that I can't unsee what I've seen.) I feel badly that my MIL is so unhappy in her marriage but she is making some poor decisions that I'm afraid could come back to hurt her. Not to mention what she is doing to my FIL. We will see them over the holidays and I will act as though everything is normal but I feel differently about her now.
So I guess I'm not 100% sure what I'm asking, other than how can I deal with this in the most constructive way. I know what I did was wrong so please, no judgements on that. I just need to get this out there and get some feedback, especially since my spouse doesn't want to talk about it and I won't tell anyone else. Advise from anyone who has gone through something similar would be great.