How to Talk to a Teenager Through their First Breakup?
November 15, 2011 3:31 PM Subscribe
I know how to help myself through bad times, but how does a mom help her 20-year-old child through her first serious relationship breakup when the reasons for it are the same as her parent's divorce (boy cheats on girl)? What are the magic words?
posted by kinetic to human relations (27 answers total) 3 users marked this as a favorite
My 20 year old daughter was in a (she thought) relatively solid, loving relationship with a very nice person for about 2 years.
She recently discovered that throughout those 2 years, he was messing around with/dating someone else. Cutting to the chase, she texted him the other day to discuss weekend plans and he said that out of respect for his relationship with "Other Woman," he had to cut off all communication with her. End of discussion.
Major shock to the system, obviously. But as she's been talking to her sister (not me) about it, she apparently is starting to see little pieces come together (he was suddenly busy certain nights, he acted oddly if she just stopped by his house all of a sudden, etc.).
Her dad and I broke up a long time ago and it turns out he had a girlfriend on the side (it was her best friend's mother, ick), and here in her first real relationship for her to have to live through a breakup that involves someone lying to her because they're seeing someone else....oh my gosh.
What do I tell her, as her mom, to help her? It was her first relationship, I know it hits way too close to home to what her own father did, and I don't know how to help or what to say.