How bad is it to address a person by their full name?
November 14, 2011 8:41 AM Subscribe
Is it unprofessional to address an email "Dear (full name)," ?
Sometimes when I am writing an email to someone in a professional context (such as to opposing counsel I have met only briefly if ever) I address it "Dear firstname lastname,"
This seems proper if a bit formal to me. I would not feel comfortable using only the first name since we are not friends, and using Mr. or Mrs. feels kind of odd to me. I guess part of it is that I'm signing off using my full name with no title and it seems balanced. I couldn't use my first name only because they would not know who I am.
However, I have recently been told that this is inappropriately awkward and unprofessional and that instead I should always use the first name only unless I have never met the person, and then I should only use "Mr. lastname."
I'll do that now, but it really so bad to use full names? Is this a really embarrassing thing that I've been doing for years?
Sometimes when I am writing an email to someone in a professional context (such as to opposing counsel I have met only briefly if ever) I address it "Dear firstname lastname,"
This seems proper if a bit formal to me. I would not feel comfortable using only the first name since we are not friends, and using Mr. or Mrs. feels kind of odd to me. I guess part of it is that I'm signing off using my full name with no title and it seems balanced. I couldn't use my first name only because they would not know who I am.
However, I have recently been told that this is inappropriately awkward and unprofessional and that instead I should always use the first name only unless I have never met the person, and then I should only use "Mr. lastname."
I'll do that now, but it really so bad to use full names? Is this a really embarrassing thing that I've been doing for years?
Best answer: I don't love it, but I have seen "Dear Counselor Haddock" and stuff like that.
I don't think I have used the salutation "Dear" in any work related email. Typically, I'd say start "first name--" or similar. If in doubt, I just leave it off altogether and start with the message: "I am attaching redlines of the XYZ document that reflect your emailed markup on Friday."
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:48 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
I don't think I have used the salutation "Dear" in any work related email. Typically, I'd say start "first name--" or similar. If in doubt, I just leave it off altogether and start with the message: "I am attaching redlines of the XYZ document that reflect your emailed markup on Friday."
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:48 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I tend to use this form when I'm not sure of the gender of the recipient or whether they prefer Mrs./Ms./Miss/Dr./whatever.
It does feel kind of awkward, but I know I personally prefer to receive something addressed to "Myfirstname Mylastname" over "Mr. Mylastname" (although my first name reads male to many people, I am a woman and prefer "Ms." As you might guess from my handle - I get a lot of Mr. mail).
Addressing strangers by first name only, even in a quick email, would be considered unprofessional/impolite at MPOW, but we can usually fall back on "Professor" when necessary.
posted by mskyle at 8:54 AM on November 14, 2011
It does feel kind of awkward, but I know I personally prefer to receive something addressed to "Myfirstname Mylastname" over "Mr. Mylastname" (although my first name reads male to many people, I am a woman and prefer "Ms." As you might guess from my handle - I get a lot of Mr. mail).
Addressing strangers by first name only, even in a quick email, would be considered unprofessional/impolite at MPOW, but we can usually fall back on "Professor" when necessary.
posted by mskyle at 8:54 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: I'm a lawyer. I write and receive a lot of emails from other lawyers.
In many cases, we don't even *use* a salutation in emails. When I see them, it's usually just the first name. Of course, the legal community isn't all that big, and we've at least met with most other local counsel if not actually worked with/against them in previous cases, so there's a certain informality there.
So it's really a question of context. But I tend to treat emails as being slightly less formal than official correspondence, and will occasionally attach said correspondence to an email. I usually start off with "[firstname]," or "[title] [lastname]," (especially for physicians or academics) and get right to it.
Like Admiral Haddock, I occasionally see "Dear [firstname]" in work email, but it's almost always from people who were born before 1965 or are not very tech savvy. I had one former boss who would use a salutation and signature line in instant messages. Of course, this is a guy who uses two fingers to type. I never felt any compunction to respond in kind.
posted by valkyryn at 8:54 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
In many cases, we don't even *use* a salutation in emails. When I see them, it's usually just the first name. Of course, the legal community isn't all that big, and we've at least met with most other local counsel if not actually worked with/against them in previous cases, so there's a certain informality there.
So it's really a question of context. But I tend to treat emails as being slightly less formal than official correspondence, and will occasionally attach said correspondence to an email. I usually start off with "[firstname]," or "[title] [lastname]," (especially for physicians or academics) and get right to it.
Like Admiral Haddock, I occasionally see "Dear [firstname]" in work email, but it's almost always from people who were born before 1965 or are not very tech savvy. I had one former boss who would use a salutation and signature line in instant messages. Of course, this is a guy who uses two fingers to type. I never felt any compunction to respond in kind.
posted by valkyryn at 8:54 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I suspect it's somewhat awkward to use firstname lastname or Mr./Ms. lastname because it evokes spam emails.
I have only ever used that construct when being deferential (for example, when I was a junior attorney that for some reason had to email someone way above my level at the client -- and then only with the first contact). In an email to opposing counsel I would never use that construct.
posted by odin53 at 8:56 AM on November 14, 2011
I have only ever used that construct when being deferential (for example, when I was a junior attorney that for some reason had to email someone way above my level at the client -- and then only with the first contact). In an email to opposing counsel I would never use that construct.
posted by odin53 at 8:56 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: Awkward is as awkward feels. I find it much more awkward to address, say, someone called Robin Lastname as "dear Mr. Lastname" when it later turns out that it was Mrs. Robin Lastname. I also find it awkward to address people from countries where Firstname Lastname might appear inverted (especially with names unknown to me) with what I perceive as Lastname, and risk being wrong about it (or, if three names appear, and I can't decide which it is: Firstname Middle Name and Lastname, or Firstname + double Lastname).
In all such cases, I feel that dear Wholename-as-you-wrote is as professional as you can get.
Address people with their first name (in most cases) only, if they addressed you with your first name too. If it's a professional exchange, and the person is higher in experience, status (or age, fwiw), I would then anyway still write "Dear Firstname (if I may)".
(I do use salutations in e-mails and consider it poor practice if people don't, apart from friends who are sending quick notes)
posted by Namlit at 8:57 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
In all such cases, I feel that dear Wholename-as-you-wrote is as professional as you can get.
Address people with their first name (in most cases) only, if they addressed you with your first name too. If it's a professional exchange, and the person is higher in experience, status (or age, fwiw), I would then anyway still write "Dear Firstname (if I may)".
(I do use salutations in e-mails and consider it poor practice if people don't, apart from friends who are sending quick notes)
posted by Namlit at 8:57 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I try to avoid Mr/Mrs where possible. However "Dear Firstname Lastname" seems a bit formal. If I'm addressing someone I don't know, or who is senior to me, I try to use their title. In an academic context, this is a lot of "Professor" and "Doctor" such and such. After the initial correspondance, I frequently omit a salutation because it can get rather awkward. However people tend to prefer different things, so after the initial email I try to just imitate what they do.
posted by DoubleLune at 9:04 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by DoubleLune at 9:04 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: I'm a lawyer too. I see "[Firstname]," most often and I think that's fine. "Dear" anything is acceptable, but typically I only see if from someone who is trying to be deferential (someone very junior, someone who is not a lawyer).
posted by chickenmagazine at 9:05 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by chickenmagazine at 9:05 AM on November 14, 2011
Response by poster: I'm pretty junior, and I don't mind coming off as deferential, excessively formal, or old fashioned. I had not thought of the spam email connotations.
posted by steinwald at 9:08 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by steinwald at 9:08 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: I think email is now a far less formal means of communication than a written letter.
My job involves quite frequent email communication in a professional context with individuals I don't know. These people work in senior roles for major international companies. Some of these people are on the boards of their respective companies. They're Important People. So any lack of professionalism on my part in dealing with them is out of the question.
In almost all circumstances, first-name terms are used. Never titles. 'Dear firstname' isn't out of the question, but starting the email with 'First name,' followed by a blank line, followed by the body of the message, tends to be the norm.
I did worry a lot about how to address people at first, but my experience from being CC'd in on a lot of email going back and forth between people in different companies is that even directors of the company tend to be addressed in first-name terms by people way down the hierarchy. Formality is definitely much more relaxed, but professionalism definitely isn't.
Of course, culture (both geopgraphical and organisational) plays a part, as does your role in the relationship.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 9:09 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
My job involves quite frequent email communication in a professional context with individuals I don't know. These people work in senior roles for major international companies. Some of these people are on the boards of their respective companies. They're Important People. So any lack of professionalism on my part in dealing with them is out of the question.
In almost all circumstances, first-name terms are used. Never titles. 'Dear firstname' isn't out of the question, but starting the email with 'First name,' followed by a blank line, followed by the body of the message, tends to be the norm.
I did worry a lot about how to address people at first, but my experience from being CC'd in on a lot of email going back and forth between people in different companies is that even directors of the company tend to be addressed in first-name terms by people way down the hierarchy. Formality is definitely much more relaxed, but professionalism definitely isn't.
Of course, culture (both geopgraphical and organisational) plays a part, as does your role in the relationship.
posted by le morte de bea arthur at 9:09 AM on November 14, 2011 [1 favorite]
Best answer: I usually go with "Hello Firstname" for an email in business situations.
posted by COD at 9:22 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by COD at 9:22 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: I work in litigation support (electronic discovery) and am on several distribution lists that include almost all the correspondence between our Project Managers and the law firms who are our clients.
Standard practice is "[Firstname],", whether the recipient is a lowly paralegal, senior partner, opposing counsel, whatever. The only exceptions I see are when the recipients are titled professionals outside the legal industry (as, for example, when our forensics team need to arrange a data collection). Then it is "Commissioner [Lastname],", "Supervisor [Lastname}," "Professor [Lastname],", etc.
posted by trip and a half at 9:26 AM on November 14, 2011
Standard practice is "[Firstname],", whether the recipient is a lowly paralegal, senior partner, opposing counsel, whatever. The only exceptions I see are when the recipients are titled professionals outside the legal industry (as, for example, when our forensics team need to arrange a data collection). Then it is "Commissioner [Lastname],", "Supervisor [Lastname}," "Professor [Lastname],", etc.
posted by trip and a half at 9:26 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: I personally don't like [firstname] [lastname] - this to me means that the sender does not know me at all, or they would either just use [firstname] or Ms. [lastname]. I would much rather receive correspondence addressed to Dear [firstname] or Dear Ms. [lastname].
Not worth worrying about certainly, and as you can see a lot of this comes down to personal preference, but I'll bet I'm not the only one out there with an unusual/kind of unisex name who automatically discounts any correspondence where it appears the sender either doesn't know me or doesn't remember me.
posted by widdershins at 9:58 AM on November 14, 2011
Not worth worrying about certainly, and as you can see a lot of this comes down to personal preference, but I'll bet I'm not the only one out there with an unusual/kind of unisex name who automatically discounts any correspondence where it appears the sender either doesn't know me or doesn't remember me.
posted by widdershins at 9:58 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: Another option is "Dear Firstname (if I may)". I both get this and use this in professional emails -- I am an academic, not a lawyer. It acknowledges that first name only is the norm, but also that you have not met his person. You then must sign with your own first name only, though. (I assume you use a sig file with your full name and affiliation.)
posted by kestrel251 at 10:40 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by kestrel251 at 10:40 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: I think it sounds awkward and spammy, like you just got a list of names that didn't parse first from last and you ran a mail merge without actually looking at what you were sending. I am young/junior but I don't think it's bad to use just first name if you don't know the person's gender.
posted by radioamy at 10:47 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by radioamy at 10:47 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: Another perspective perhaps but in English language emails, in my firm and with my clients we use first names pretty much without exception. The only people who don't are people who are not native speakers of English and who feel awkward addressing people informally if they would use more formal salutations in their own languages. But I've never seen anybody of English speaking background address anybody by anything other than their first name, perhaps prefaced with a Hello.
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:50 AM on November 14, 2011
posted by koahiatamadl at 11:50 AM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: My rules of thumb are:
- Never address someone as Mr. Lastname unless you are 100% certain that person is male. I'm a woman, and I get email addressed to Mr. Lastname all the time. It pisses me off.
- Never address someone as Mrs. Lastname unless you are 100% certain that person is (a) female, (b) married, and (c) someone who prefers to be addresed as Mrs. rather than Ms. I am not married, and I get email addressed to Mrs. Lastname all the time. It pisses me off.
- Never address someone as Firstname unless you know that person. Addressing strangers by their first names is presumptuous.
posted by medusa at 12:22 PM on November 14, 2011
- Never address someone as Mr. Lastname unless you are 100% certain that person is male. I'm a woman, and I get email addressed to Mr. Lastname all the time. It pisses me off.
- Never address someone as Mrs. Lastname unless you are 100% certain that person is (a) female, (b) married, and (c) someone who prefers to be addresed as Mrs. rather than Ms. I am not married, and I get email addressed to Mrs. Lastname all the time. It pisses me off.
- Never address someone as Firstname unless you know that person. Addressing strangers by their first names is presumptuous.
posted by medusa at 12:22 PM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: For the purposes of this comment, my first name is Madcap, and my last name is Tenor.
I'm a professor. I get a lot of e-mails from students addressed to "Dear Madcap Tenor", which annoys me a bit although I can't quite put a finger on why. I've noticed that these seem to be mainly from students whose native language is not English, although I haven't systematically collected data.
(Since they're my students, they should know my gender! And if they don't, well, you never go wrong addressing a professor as Dr. The worst way to offend me, if you're one of my students, is to start an e-mail with "Dear Mr. Tenor".)
I generally sign my e-mails to students with my first name only, but my students don't seem to take the hint. The few that will write "Madcap" in an e-mail to me are those that are a bit older than the average student (and therefore closer in age to me).
posted by madcaptenor at 1:18 PM on November 14, 2011
I'm a professor. I get a lot of e-mails from students addressed to "Dear Madcap Tenor", which annoys me a bit although I can't quite put a finger on why. I've noticed that these seem to be mainly from students whose native language is not English, although I haven't systematically collected data.
(Since they're my students, they should know my gender! And if they don't, well, you never go wrong addressing a professor as Dr. The worst way to offend me, if you're one of my students, is to start an e-mail with "Dear Mr. Tenor".)
I generally sign my e-mails to students with my first name only, but my students don't seem to take the hint. The few that will write "Madcap" in an e-mail to me are those that are a bit older than the average student (and therefore closer in age to me).
posted by madcaptenor at 1:18 PM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: What? No, no you can't do this. It's not a question of being unprofessional; it's just incorrect. "Dear Mr./Ms. Lastname" unless you don't know and can't find out the gender, and you can't use Doctor or Professor or whatever, in which case, "Dear Firstname." Period.
posted by naoko at 3:09 PM on November 14, 2011
posted by naoko at 3:09 PM on November 14, 2011
Best answer: Whenever I see "Dear (full name)," I think it's spam. (I also dislike it when I get mail that is Mr/Mrs/Miss First Name. It just ... irks me somehow.) If I don't know the gender of the person I'm addressing or how they prefer to be addressed, I usually default to "First Name," or "Hi/Hello/First Name." If the first name isn't clear, I'll go with "Greetings" or "Good morning" or something generic and (hopefully) inoffensive.
The only thing I actually find unprofessional/discourteous is any initial email that launches in without any greeting whatsoever.
posted by sm1tten at 4:51 PM on November 14, 2011
The only thing I actually find unprofessional/discourteous is any initial email that launches in without any greeting whatsoever.
posted by sm1tten at 4:51 PM on November 14, 2011
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