Am I to blame for hoping?
November 14, 2011 5:59 AM Subscribe
Am I to blame for how hurt I feel right now? Details within.
posted by anonymous to Human Relations (31 answers total) 8 users marked this as a favorite
So there's a guy who I count as one of my oldest friends. I asked him out several years ago and got a gentle let down, but shrugged and moved on, and we've had a lot of fun times since. Our friendship is pretty affectionate, but just lately I'd thought it had taken on a romantic tenor. He had mused out loud that perhaps we should date, since we seemed so well suited. I agreed that it was an attractive idea, but it's not like we agreed to anything. He noticed I'd left my chat application logged in while we were out together one night, and I asked him to send me a message so I'd get it when I got home: "you're a total babe", he'd sent. I soon thereafter proposed we go see a film together, and he responded with, oh, a date night, and I was like yes, of course! We hold hands and hug a lot that night, and it was a really sweet - no kiss, though. A couple of days later he changes his status to 'in a relationship' with someone who I now strongly suspect (for various reasons) he must have been already seeing for a little while. I had no inkling of any of this, and feel incredibly hurt and ashamed at having let myself hope. How do I move forward? I still care for him a lot in a Platonic sense, but I feel like such a fool. Am I naive for thinking that anything could have been happening between us? I sent him a couple of messages asking if he'd be at a bar some friends were thinking of heading out to, no response. Otherwise I've not spoken to him since.