Sibling money disparity stuff
October 25, 2011 12:25 PM Subscribe
How to best reach an agreement on a fair settlement percentage after the sale of our family home?
posted by zenpop to work & money (19 answers total) 2 users marked this as a favorite
My brother put our family home on the market last month. It sold for a decent price. After paying off some debts related to the second mortgage, and setting up a trust for his mother (my stepmother) there is about 200,000 dollars remaining.
He called me last night to inform me that the property had sold and that he'd be sending me a check for $20,000. As he is the executor of the will and the house, and I believe was given power of attorney by his mom, this news was delivered to me as a 'done deal.'
I balked and explained that I felt I should receive a higher pay out. We both shared the same father, it was his house, we both lived there growing up together as kids, as the eldest I helped raise him and protect him for the general insanity of two alcoholic parents, etc.
His rational for taking more is that he helped care form my father for years, towards the end of my dad's, and also dealt with other complicated issues over the years regarding his mother and risks to the house, etc. All of which are true. He also has two children and a wife; whereas I'm a gay man without children and living alone (this later statement is a projection on my part, meaning, I feel this is the way he experiences my life and life choices, etc. as being less involved and complicated as his [not true though])
I said, yes, you definitely deserve more money in this settlement, but I don't deserve so little. We came to an agreement to think about this some more during the week. And now we are scheduled to talk again on Sunday.
Any suggestions as to a psychological strategy to adopt for procuring a higher percentage of the 200,000 thousand? I'd be happy with 25%.
If worse case scenario was to develop, would bringing an attorney in to the mix do anything in my favor? I loathe that notion but also feel like it might snap things into focus better. I hate shit like this. But there it is.