father in law crossing the line
October 23, 2011 12:41 PM Subscribe
Should my father in law be telling me what to do in regards to buying a house with my wife?
posted by ljs30 to human relations (28 answers total)
My wife and I have been in the process of searching for a house. Through out our search, I have often questioned whether or not we can afford to buy a house right now. On a number of occasions we have been close to making an offer and then I've decided that I don't think we should buy a particular house because it's too expensive. But I've then changed my mind with other houses saying we can afford it, but then once again I've gone back to the idea that I think we should wait to buy a house because we can't comfortably afford it right now. My wife has no problem with our decision not to buy right now but she has been frustrated with me going back and fourth saying yes we can afford the house, and then on another day saying no we can't afford the house. I don't blame her for being frustrated...I need to make a definitive decision and stick with it. We are both in agreement there. Recently she had a conversation with her parents about this and soon afterwords her father called me and basically said I need to make a decision about this and stick to it. While I'm in full agreement with him, I don't think it was his place to call me and say that. It's between my wife and I. I'm not saying it isn't his business, but it's too much when he gets on the phone to tell me what he thinks needs to be done. He wasn't mean about it, and I know he's just looking out for his daughter's well being, but still I feel like he crossed the line. I didn't say anything to him about this when we spoke. I was polite and agreed with him. I also haven't spoken to my wife about this because she's out of town. So...do you think my father in law was in the right by calling me about this? Should I say something to my wife along the lines of, "Hey it's totally cool if you talk to your parents about this stuff, but I don't think it's cool if your dad then calls me and tells me what he thinks should be done. This is between us, not your parents or mine." And should she then tell her father that he shouldn't have called or should I? Any opinions here would be great.