Surviving the Ultimate Type-A Job
October 19, 2011 7:16 PM Subscribe
I need advice on surviving the ultimate type-A job. I've had a job at a small company for 2.5 years now. In my time at the company, I've accomplished a meteoric rise through the company ranks, from a skilled non-management position to an executive level position, supervising nine employees (seven of them international) and several divisions. I've started one division for the company, and I recently was promoted to the director of what we hope will be a multi-million dollar new division.
I work 90 hour weeks, including every night and every weekend. I am always on-call. Days off mean that I don't go into the office but I work at least half-time from home. This year, I get 1.5 days off for Christmas, during which time I will be expected to check email and be responsive to any emergent issues. This is typical of all executive-level employees at my company, and my willingness to do this is directly correlated to my rise through the ranks at the company.
In addition to the long hours, the work itself is extremely stressful. There are regular moments of crisis, if not every day, at least several times a week. I am called upon to handle or be involved in many of the most stressful issues that arise at the company. This is also the kind of job where a mistake made a year ago can rear up and have serious consequences at any moment.
Until recently, I felt that this was the first job I'd ever had that I truly loved. I said that the job was the second most important thing in my life. This job has the potential to provide long-term financial security for me, as well as a continual increase in responsibility and challenges. Lately, I've had a lot of trouble dealing with the constant stress. I'm not happy to go to work anymore, and I'm worried I'm burning out.
I have a very specific question, that may or may not be impossible to answer. I don't want to quit my job, especially in this economy. Working less is a dubious possibility, as this level of commitment is basically a requirement for someone in my position at the company. So my question is for all the type-A personalities, all the trial lawyers, all the iBankers who work jobs with similar stress and hours. How do you do it? How can you make a sustainable life for yourself when your job demands so much out of you? How do you learn not to let the constant stress of the job eat away at you? Is there a way to thrive and be happy with a job like mine? I know I'm not the first person to face this challenge who didn't just want to walk away from it, so I'm looking for advice from anyone else who's been down this road and made it work.
This isn't anonymous to hide from MetaFilter as anyone who knows me already figured out who I am, I'm hiding from Google here.
I work 90 hour weeks, including every night and every weekend. I am always on-call. Days off mean that I don't go into the office but I work at least half-time from home. This year, I get 1.5 days off for Christmas, during which time I will be expected to check email and be responsive to any emergent issues. This is typical of all executive-level employees at my company, and my willingness to do this is directly correlated to my rise through the ranks at the company.
In addition to the long hours, the work itself is extremely stressful. There are regular moments of crisis, if not every day, at least several times a week. I am called upon to handle or be involved in many of the most stressful issues that arise at the company. This is also the kind of job where a mistake made a year ago can rear up and have serious consequences at any moment.
Until recently, I felt that this was the first job I'd ever had that I truly loved. I said that the job was the second most important thing in my life. This job has the potential to provide long-term financial security for me, as well as a continual increase in responsibility and challenges. Lately, I've had a lot of trouble dealing with the constant stress. I'm not happy to go to work anymore, and I'm worried I'm burning out.
I have a very specific question, that may or may not be impossible to answer. I don't want to quit my job, especially in this economy. Working less is a dubious possibility, as this level of commitment is basically a requirement for someone in my position at the company. So my question is for all the type-A personalities, all the trial lawyers, all the iBankers who work jobs with similar stress and hours. How do you do it? How can you make a sustainable life for yourself when your job demands so much out of you? How do you learn not to let the constant stress of the job eat away at you? Is there a way to thrive and be happy with a job like mine? I know I'm not the first person to face this challenge who didn't just want to walk away from it, so I'm looking for advice from anyone else who's been down this road and made it work.
This isn't anonymous to hide from MetaFilter as anyone who knows me already figured out who I am, I'm hiding from Google here.
Well, if you are not willing to quit, have a serious look at your compensation. For what's being asked of you, you should be making great money and socking it away for retirement and eventually nice perks that help you survive - massages, spa visits, personal assistance. I do have friends who worked in the 70 (not 90)-hour range for several years, but were able to save enough to quit in their 30s and switch careers while having a really nice savings and investment package set aside to cushion every aspect of life thereafter. There are people willing to put in this kind of labor, but only for an appropriate level of compensation, and only if that kind of compensation is satisfaction enough for you.
I do question whether this is the kind of thing you really want to be doing, though, because as your main reason not to quit you cite fear of not finding another job. That's usually not enough to motivate the kind of demand being placed on you for the long term. Some part of you has to enjoy the adrenaline, get a charge from the environment you work in, draw satisfaction from achieving whatever it is you achieve, and feel an honest pride at being able to produce like that. If this doesn't offer you those intrinsic rewards, then your strategy should be all about how to make it pay really well now, in cash and credentials, so you that you have more options when you leave not too much later.
posted by Miko at 7:25 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I do question whether this is the kind of thing you really want to be doing, though, because as your main reason not to quit you cite fear of not finding another job. That's usually not enough to motivate the kind of demand being placed on you for the long term. Some part of you has to enjoy the adrenaline, get a charge from the environment you work in, draw satisfaction from achieving whatever it is you achieve, and feel an honest pride at being able to produce like that. If this doesn't offer you those intrinsic rewards, then your strategy should be all about how to make it pay really well now, in cash and credentials, so you that you have more options when you leave not too much later.
posted by Miko at 7:25 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
How do you do it?
Triage and delegate, mercilessly.
posted by mhoye at 7:31 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
Triage and delegate, mercilessly.
posted by mhoye at 7:31 PM on October 19, 2011 [3 favorites]
Eat a very healthy diet, exercise every day, get plenty of sleep, make time to have meaningful contact with family and friends.
posted by blargerz at 7:34 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
posted by blargerz at 7:34 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
It's a fine line to balance. While I wouldn't say that my situation is a mirror image, I've frequently gone through periods working as much (and more) and with similar on-call requirements. I manage about the same size team as well. That being said, I still would not consider myself an A-type personality (my wife might argue that fact though). Just a caveat.
From anecdotal evidence, A-types usually have equally energetic means of recreation. Jumping out of airplanes, learning to pilot boats/aircraft, mountain climbing, high stakes poker, deep sea diving etc.
You're always on an energetic high, try to divert that energy into something equally as challenging but has nothing to do with your day-to-day life. To me, this allows a mental "reboot" while not dialing back the attributes that make me successful at my job.
Another tactic is to break up your day. For instance, I try to use my lunch break (blocked out in my calendar) for high intensity workouts.
All that being said, burnout is serious and debilitating. You might want to talk to either an HR rep at your company or an occupational therapist. Intense episodes of stress are not healthy and can cause health issues if it does not dissipate. This life is not for everyone.
posted by purephase at 7:35 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
From anecdotal evidence, A-types usually have equally energetic means of recreation. Jumping out of airplanes, learning to pilot boats/aircraft, mountain climbing, high stakes poker, deep sea diving etc.
You're always on an energetic high, try to divert that energy into something equally as challenging but has nothing to do with your day-to-day life. To me, this allows a mental "reboot" while not dialing back the attributes that make me successful at my job.
Another tactic is to break up your day. For instance, I try to use my lunch break (blocked out in my calendar) for high intensity workouts.
All that being said, burnout is serious and debilitating. You might want to talk to either an HR rep at your company or an occupational therapist. Intense episodes of stress are not healthy and can cause health issues if it does not dissipate. This life is not for everyone.
posted by purephase at 7:35 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
You don't have a life while you're doing this. You do it so you can spend your 40s doing fuck-all and not worrying about whether you'll make rent. But you have to have an endpoint in mind before you start, whether it's a certain birthday or a certain amount in the bank or a certain (achievable, quantifiable) goal.
Or you have a life under very controlled circumstances -- Saturdays are off-limits to work, for instance, or 8-10 p.m. is your racquetball/date/movie time even if you have to come back in after 10 to clean stuff up.
posted by Etrigan at 7:36 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
Or you have a life under very controlled circumstances -- Saturdays are off-limits to work, for instance, or 8-10 p.m. is your racquetball/date/movie time even if you have to come back in after 10 to clean stuff up.
posted by Etrigan at 7:36 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]
I'm a lawyer, and my work is similar, but less consistent--last week, I had two sixteen hour days, a 12 hour day and an 11 hour day--but coasted out with a 9 hour day and had a nice three-day weekend. But when it's busy (and it can be busy for months at a time), it completely takes up my life. I'm always on call, too. That's the worst part--not knowing whether that blinking red light on your blackberry Saturday morning is the IT group saying the email server upgrade is complete, or the email telling you that your entire weekend belongs to the firm.
I'm coming from a slightly different place, as I've been in my job for longer than you--and I don't particularly like it. I don't think the sacrifices inherent in these type-A jobs are worth it. I'd much, much rather be less "successful" and have time for friends and family. There is no "having it all" (unless you want only work, which it doesn't sound like you do).
I understand not wanting to quit though. It's rough out there. Save that cash and get out when you can, though. You'll feel better in the long run.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:01 PM on October 19, 2011
I'm coming from a slightly different place, as I've been in my job for longer than you--and I don't particularly like it. I don't think the sacrifices inherent in these type-A jobs are worth it. I'd much, much rather be less "successful" and have time for friends and family. There is no "having it all" (unless you want only work, which it doesn't sound like you do).
I understand not wanting to quit though. It's rough out there. Save that cash and get out when you can, though. You'll feel better in the long run.
posted by Admiral Haddock at 8:01 PM on October 19, 2011
If you're that important to the place, they will usually let you take R&R days throughout the year.
Let me rephrase that. If you're that important, you can take R&R days throughout the year and they will simply have to put up with it as the price of doing business. No one wants to try and hire a replacement for a known quantity, especially when that known quantity is a stellar performer.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:43 AM on October 20, 2011 [3 favorites]
Let me rephrase that. If you're that important, you can take R&R days throughout the year and they will simply have to put up with it as the price of doing business. No one wants to try and hire a replacement for a known quantity, especially when that known quantity is a stellar performer.
posted by Civil_Disobedient at 1:43 AM on October 20, 2011 [3 favorites]
You can't learn the impossible. Working around the clock for YEARS without downtime will burn you out, and is not worth it unless the financial rewards are incredible and fairly assured. The people I know with similar jobs periodically disappear for a day off or a week vacation.
If you are not getting paid very well now, or if the money is not in the foreseeable future, then consider that your meteoric rise may be due not only to your talent, but to your company's willingness to exploit you.
posted by yarly at 4:19 AM on October 20, 2011 [2 favorites]
If you are not getting paid very well now, or if the money is not in the foreseeable future, then consider that your meteoric rise may be due not only to your talent, but to your company's willingness to exploit you.
posted by yarly at 4:19 AM on October 20, 2011 [2 favorites]
One thing that will help is re-framing your benchmark for a crisis. The job comes with daily challenges, sure, but each of those is not a crisis. They are just important things you need to deal with and make decisions on because it's your job. The company closing is a crisis. Your data center burning down is a crisis. You having a heart attack is a crisis.
Everything else, not so much.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:38 AM on October 20, 2011
Everything else, not so much.
posted by DarlingBri at 4:38 AM on October 20, 2011
Hold on man, I hope that if you are working all of those hours, you are also amazing enough cash to hold off for 6 months to a year of unemployment. Otherwise, all of the work you are doing is simply not worthy. In addition, the fact that you are a star at your company also means that you should have more choices when it comes to finding other employment (even in a tough economy) if the 90 hours of work you are putting in are not giving you this kind of financial/Work assurance, I think you should really re-think what's going with your career and whether all the work you are doing is actually worthy.
As an anecdote, I know a lot of bankers/consultants, the ones with lots of years of experience (perhaps like yourself) are able to take sabbaticals from time to time and have enough cash to outlast long periods of unemployment. No-one is a machine and is up to you to put boundaries at work if you are not getting those benefits.
posted by The1andonly at 7:16 AM on October 20, 2011
As an anecdote, I know a lot of bankers/consultants, the ones with lots of years of experience (perhaps like yourself) are able to take sabbaticals from time to time and have enough cash to outlast long periods of unemployment. No-one is a machine and is up to you to put boundaries at work if you are not getting those benefits.
posted by The1andonly at 7:16 AM on October 20, 2011
I don't work quite as many hours as you do but I have a similar schedule, involving a lot of on call time, working weekends and vacations, dealing with constant crisis, etc on top of twosmall children. I am also Type A-in that I am committed, driven, ambitious, and have no patience for people who tell me I need work/life balance or whatever-everyone's balance is different-mine is working just fine for me. You didn't ask how to get out of your situation, you asked how to make it work-so that's what I will try to help you with.
I start my day as early as possible so I can get tons done before other people show up/things start to go to hell/fires start burning. I can accomplish the day to day stuff that isn't actually on fire but needs to be done, usually starting at 5:30AM-so I start the day ahead when everyone else comes in at 8 or so. Also-I focus on my strengths. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I am blessed to be able to live on 4.5 hours of sleep every night without feeling tired. I take shameless advantage of that and use the extra time to work. I have had a hyperactivity issue my whole life and take advantage of that by burning it whenever I can - I am constantly on the move---I don't spend time on facebook, ebay, not even here lately much because while I am here, I am not accomplishing anything that contributes either to my household (I am a Type A control freak at home too) or to work. When you really sit and think about how much time you waste on the Real Housewives...I found it was more than I thought. I waste very little time---I am always doing something. The ten minutes I just spent typing this will be the slowest ten minutes of my day today.
Which brings me to crisis----darlingbri up above has it---there are very few real crises. Some things are important but unless your hair is ablaze----let it simmer. If nothing else, you will train your crisis reporters to report carefully since not everything will be handled as a crisis.
Last-do take steps to take care of yourself. All that money you're making, moving up so fast---get a massage, a pedicure, a new pair of shoes, whatever it takes to make you go----see, now this is why I am ruthlessly ambitious, so I can afford stuff that makes me happy.
Now having said all that----not everyone can be a manic little hummingbird. There is no shame in looking around and realizing the view isn't as awesome as you thought it would be or that your priorities have changed. I don't expect my life to always be the way it is now but right now-it's worth it to me. And six years going now---I've adapted to the pace. But I really like being so busy that I don't have time to think. It's not for everyone.
posted by supercapitalist at 7:42 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
I start my day as early as possible so I can get tons done before other people show up/things start to go to hell/fires start burning. I can accomplish the day to day stuff that isn't actually on fire but needs to be done, usually starting at 5:30AM-so I start the day ahead when everyone else comes in at 8 or so. Also-I focus on my strengths. I'm not the smartest person in the world but I am blessed to be able to live on 4.5 hours of sleep every night without feeling tired. I take shameless advantage of that and use the extra time to work. I have had a hyperactivity issue my whole life and take advantage of that by burning it whenever I can - I am constantly on the move---I don't spend time on facebook, ebay, not even here lately much because while I am here, I am not accomplishing anything that contributes either to my household (I am a Type A control freak at home too) or to work. When you really sit and think about how much time you waste on the Real Housewives...I found it was more than I thought. I waste very little time---I am always doing something. The ten minutes I just spent typing this will be the slowest ten minutes of my day today.
Which brings me to crisis----darlingbri up above has it---there are very few real crises. Some things are important but unless your hair is ablaze----let it simmer. If nothing else, you will train your crisis reporters to report carefully since not everything will be handled as a crisis.
Last-do take steps to take care of yourself. All that money you're making, moving up so fast---get a massage, a pedicure, a new pair of shoes, whatever it takes to make you go----see, now this is why I am ruthlessly ambitious, so I can afford stuff that makes me happy.
Now having said all that----not everyone can be a manic little hummingbird. There is no shame in looking around and realizing the view isn't as awesome as you thought it would be or that your priorities have changed. I don't expect my life to always be the way it is now but right now-it's worth it to me. And six years going now---I've adapted to the pace. But I really like being so busy that I don't have time to think. It's not for everyone.
posted by supercapitalist at 7:42 AM on October 20, 2011 [1 favorite]
Triage and delegate, mercilessly.
Absolutely this. You are the expert, right? And you know how to work smart, not hard. As the big boss in your department you are responsible for the big picture, not the picky little shit, right?
I assume you have a secretary, a full time PA, and assorted other right-hand men/women? Start training them to do all the shit that you don't want to do / don't have time to do.
Your PA needs to be scheduling and gatekeeping for you in a way that keeps you with those blocks of time free for your sanity. You need those long spa visits / slacking off times / etc. for "strategic thinking".
Your secretary / PA needs to be running your inbox and dealing with 70% of the stuff that ends up there so you can focus fully on the key imporrtant stuff where you bring that amazing value-added to the company.
You set your own schedule, right? So, like, a long weekend in the Bahamas / at the big conference / etc., these are things you can decide you need to do, right? These are the times when you are focusing on your strategic vision, planning, etc.
Honestly, a successful division head level manager should not be working the hours you do - that is a sign of your inability to properly prioritize and delegate, to find staff you can really trust to do this, etc.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:38 AM on October 20, 2011 [3 favorites]
Absolutely this. You are the expert, right? And you know how to work smart, not hard. As the big boss in your department you are responsible for the big picture, not the picky little shit, right?
I assume you have a secretary, a full time PA, and assorted other right-hand men/women? Start training them to do all the shit that you don't want to do / don't have time to do.
Your PA needs to be scheduling and gatekeeping for you in a way that keeps you with those blocks of time free for your sanity. You need those long spa visits / slacking off times / etc. for "strategic thinking".
Your secretary / PA needs to be running your inbox and dealing with 70% of the stuff that ends up there so you can focus fully on the key imporrtant stuff where you bring that amazing value-added to the company.
You set your own schedule, right? So, like, a long weekend in the Bahamas / at the big conference / etc., these are things you can decide you need to do, right? These are the times when you are focusing on your strategic vision, planning, etc.
Honestly, a successful division head level manager should not be working the hours you do - that is a sign of your inability to properly prioritize and delegate, to find staff you can really trust to do this, etc.
posted by Meatbomb at 8:38 AM on October 20, 2011 [3 favorites]
This thread is closed to new comments.
posted by sharding at 7:22 PM on October 19, 2011 [1 favorite]